Help! My husband says he wants to worship me

[Archer]

I'm a girl and I got married My husband recently explained to me that he wants to worship me and serve my goals and desires for the rest of his life. I don't know what he meant and he is being super vague. He says he wants to carry my will

I tried posting on other sites but i didn't get any replies can you guys help me figure out what he meant

[HannahP]

Hi Archer! Welcome to our boards.

I just want to check with you first — your profile says that you're 15 years old, which is too young to get married in most of the U.S. Did you maybe choose the wrong age for your account?

[Archer]

I'm 16 now

[HannahP]

Okay, thank you for clarifying!

I can't say for sure what your husband means — it's always hard to guess what someone else means when you don't know much about them or the context in which they said it. But I do think that those are very intense and unusual things for someone to say (on top of it being very unusual for a 16 year old to be married). Is there a reason you don't feel comfortable asking him what he means? How does him saying those things make you feel?

[Archer]

When every I ask him he is just really vague
He says stuff like this
(I want to serve you and make sure that whatever you want gets done) but then when I ask for more info he doesn't give it.

[Jacob]

It might also be that he doesn't know what he means - these sound like quite some quite superficial nice-sounding things to say to a partner, but I totally get you on them feeling odd, vague and a bit confusing.

Maybe you could ask him why he's saying it if he can't explain the words themselves? If it is just to make you feel nice and/or special, maybe you could tell him what would make you feel that way or ask him to ask you in future?

Maybe that could be an opportunity to talk about your relationship in general, it sounds like you haven't been married long so learning how to communicate might be new for both of you. Asking each other what your hopes are and your fears are for the relationship can be a good start!

[Archer]

We figured it out we're gonna try bdsm

[HannahP]

I'm glad you were able to talk it out! We have some good resources on how to start exploring kinks like BDSM, like this article: Working the Kinks Out. The biggest thing is to practice lots of open communication with your partner. It's common for people to be vague when they're talking about fantasies, just like you described, because it can feel really vulnerable and scary to be detailed, but it's really important to get comfortable with talking about what you both specifically want to try before you start experimenting — that way you can make plans together to be as safe as possible. Does that make sense?