I can’t finish, but i get turned on really easily 🥀

[anonofc]

Hii, i’m Lucy and i’m 14. (i know my profile says 13, my birthday was somewhat recent). I really needed a safe place to talk about sexuality, so here i am.

I’m horny basically all the time. I masturbate a LOT, but i never put anything inside me because i’m too tight and my insides feel awful on my fingers. i’ll rub myself, sit on the corner of my desk, and get REALLY ready, but whenever i get that feeling like i’m gonna pee so i think it must be time…either nothing happens, or i try and force it and i just piss myself. its not nice.

I was thinking maybe i havent quite reached orgasm age yet? according to google apparently it can take until you’re 15 which is very tragic but it is what it is. I also cant find the clitoris, so i’m struggling a bit.

Sorry if this was super unserious, i dunno how to do this.

[lilikoi]

Hi Lucy! Welcome to the boards!

I am glad you're here to talk about sexuality. It's what we're here for so please do not apologize!

Before I get to your question, the pain you mentioned when you insert a finger is a cause for concern. Are you able to see a health specialist to get checked up? It could be that you are not sufficiently lubricating your finger when you insert it but it sounds like the pain happens despite your arousal which is usually accompanied by your body's natural lubrication.

To answer your question, I want to emphasize that orgasming is not the be all end all of sex. That's a common story people share and it is just not true. Sex and masturbation are about doing what makes your body feel good. Sometimes that ends in orgasm, sometimes it builds and builds and then you move on till next time. That being said, it can be very frustrating when you want to orgasm and cannot for whatever reason. It's great to hear that you have been noticing what feels good for you and keeping track of that for yourself!

The other sensations you described sound like overstimulation. This happens when your body is sort of overwhelmed by sensations which keeps the experience from further arousing you and can make you feel numb. Your clitoris is powerful and interacts with over 15,000 nerve endings! Some ways to avoid overstimulation include making sure you are sufficiently lubricated while touching your genitals as well as getting arousal from parts of your body aside from the super sensitive parts. On the other hand, when it comes to arousal, some people describe the brain as the most important organ for pleasure. Sometimes medication, stress, or mental health struggles can keep somebody from fully engaging in their sexual experience the way that they want to. Not sure if that could be impacting your experience.

I'm going to link some articles below that might help!

No sexual sensitivity?
Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide
How Do You Masturbate?

[anonofc]

Hi, thanks so much for your response.

I’m sorry if it sounded like i was describing any pain, it doesn’t hurt, the sensory’s just odd, hence the “feeling awful”. I have autism so i’m pretty sure it’s just a me thing.

About what you said regarding stress and mental health problems impacting arousal, you could definitely be right there lol. I’m going back to school next week so after that i’ll probably loosen up a bit.

I’ll have a look at those articles, and again thank you so much for your support :3

[KierC]

Hey there anonofc,

I am so glad to hear that lilikoi’s advice was helpful! Also, so glad to hear you’re not in any physical pain. Hopefully settling in to a new school year’s routine will help you feel more comfortable when you try this again.

If you end up having any more questions or need more advice as you go through the articles, please feel free to let us know! We’re here for you.