Excessive uncontrolled masturbation???

[Wisteria]

I've gotten very horny basically all day some days and have to masturbate or else I can't stop the arousal. At my peak it was 10 times a day for around a whole week and I'd come multiple times per session sometimes. Even if I'm not physically aroused, my mind goes there and I feel like I need to do it right at that moment. I just randomly become horny and need to leave conversations or put off calls or chores because otherwise I can't focus. I need it to stop because it's making my orgasms worse because of how often I do it, and it's cutting into my free time. I struggle to make it a day without masturbating. I mentioned having OCD before but I don't know why I become really aroused even physically seemingly at random. I use masturbation as a coping mechanism sometimes but I don't think this is that. Even when I can't come and know that my toy is going to die before I can come I keep going looking for some sort of relief at all.

[Wisteria]

My interests have also become more severe and unrealistic, I mentioned liking pregnancy and other things and I've needed more of that to get off. I'm unable to get off to what I used to because it's not enough anymore. I guess that's what happens when you masturbate so frequently, but I don't know how to stop it.

[Anya]

Hey Wisteria,

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this! It seems like it could be quite frustrating and disruptive. I want to first highlight something that you mentioned above, about masturbation seming like acoping mechanism sometimes. I think that this is a really good thing to notice, and you're certainly not alone in feeling this way. Our bodies are literally wired for pleasure, so often times when we find something that feels good or helps us release a feeling, we can become somwhat reliant on or prioritizing of that feeling. Experiencing this does not mean there is anything wrong with you, actually quite the contrary since this is the way our brains tend to recieve sensory information; it makes a lot of sense. Can I ask what makes you feel like this behvior is not a coping mechanism?

When you engage in masturbation, does it typically feel more like a mental or physical release? Noticing what kind of satisfaction we get when we engage in behaviors that may be used as a coping mechanism can help us figure out what our brains or bodies really want. Then, if we can tell what we are wanting the most from these experiences, we can start to find either suitable replacement behaviors, or work to create more of a structure or healthy mindset around the behaviors. Does this make sense?

[Wisteria]

I don't see this current situation as a coping mechanism because I have to get myself in the mood when it is and usually it's due to something upsetting me, whereas this seems to be completely random and I'm already aroused before I do it.

When I come it feels like both, because it no longer hurts down there and I can finally go back to doing what I was doing.

I don't know what else would work because when I'm horny it feels painful. I guess the reason I'm like this is because I've been sexually repressed and unable to come at all for 18 years and when I finally found out how to do it I overdo it? I don't know

[Tara]

Hi, Wisteria:

What you are describing makes sense in terms of biological arousal - it can and often does feel like an ache, burn, or even pain when we are aroused. It does sound like you are experiencing an influx in biological arousal, or desire, which can be caused by many factors - including high or changing hormone levels. Because of the way you describe this feeling coming over you randomly or pre-thought, it makes me wonder if you do have fluctuating hormone levels. Have you ever had your hormone levels checked? Are you experiencing any other symptoms that may be related to your hormones?

More importantly, do you feel this is negatively impacting your life and well-being? You expressed that it was taking you away from daily activities, so I can see how this would be a hindrance or an excessive amount of masturbation that is negatively impacting you. Aside from the physical examination, have you considered talking to a mental health counselor about this at all?

I did find a really great article that describes in detail the sexual response process that you might find interesting or valuable for your situation: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... sers-guide

[Wisteria]

I'm unable to do anything medical/psychological right now for reasons I don't want to get into, but it could be because I'm microdosing on Testosterone. Though I've been doing this for months and nothing like this has happened, and it's not enough Testosterone to make any significant changes. Maybe I just need to learn self-control but then I'd be aroused or thinking about it throughout most of the day and it'd get worse. I'm not sure Sorry if I'm going in circles, I'm just very confused.

[Sofi]

Hi Wisteria,

When you mention pain down there, is it more like a discomfort, or actual pain? And what happens if you ignore it and keep doing what you were doing, does it go away eventually?

I'm also wondering if this is related to OCD as you mentioned. It sounds like you're hyperfixating on this and when things become an obsessive thought, we feel the need to do the compulsion to "get rid of" the obsession - except it's known that this is just a cycle and long term it hurts more than it helps. Do you have access to any mental health professional help that could help you cope with OCD obsessions and compulsions?

[Wisteria]

It's more like a discomfort, and the arousal doesn't go away because I get horny until I masturbate. At least not for a while, I masturbate before it can get really bad so I wouldn't know how long it last. But recently it's lasted up until an hour or more.

It could be related to OCD because my thoughts obsessively go there until I become aroused, and even when I'm not horny I feel the need to do it randomly and can't focus until I've done it. I'm unable to receive any mental help at this point (the therapist I mentioned previously I had to drop). I'm unsure of what to do because I'm basically uncomfortable all the time because all the time I think about doing it.

[Becky]

Hi Wisteria!

You mentioned that you've been micro dosing testosterone. Could you let me know how much you are taking and how often? And how many months you've been taking it?

[Wisteria]

20mg once a day and I don't know how long. I can't verify right now, sorry.

[Andy]

Hi there, Wisteria!

Sorry to hear you have been struggling with this, it sounds really frustrating and exhausting.

Becky might have more in mind about the testosterone later, so I will let her know you have replied. But I think they were asking to see if there may be a connecting between starting with it and the increased arousal you are experiencing. Changes in arousal and libido are one of the most common effects of taking testosterone, and as the levels of it in your body increase gradually and slowly, especially when micro-dosing, the effects can take some time to appear. Do you think this might be what you are experiencing? Have you had a chance to talk about this with the doctor who is prescribing it to you?

I also wanted to say that I’m really sorry you have lost access to mental health care. We would be more than happy to brainstorm and help you find and access help that would work for you and preferably was also specialized in OCD. How do you feel about that?

[Wisteria]

I don't think so, it's been a long while with zero changes to my libido. After talking about it I'm guessing part of it is OCD and thinking about my turn-ons excessively to the point of arousal and also having the compulsion to masturbate all the time. And with the health care - it's okay - the only way I'm able to get it is through my parents and they're very uncooperative.

Thank you for talking to me and helping

[Andy]

Hi again, Wisteria!

You are welcome, we are happy we can help. That’s a really good observation, that OCD might be a big player in this, you should be proud of yourself for making it! Given that, can you think of some strategies that are helping you with other OCD symptoms that you can try with this too (I think Heather send you some online resource with them some time ago)?

I’m really sorry to hear your parents aren’t helpful with this. So we would really like to help you access the help you need <3 Could you specify what exactly is the thing blocking your from access to the care? As a legal adult, you are legally able to access any kind of health care on your own and don’t need any kind of permission from your parents with that.

[Wisteria]

I have no ID, no transportation, no job/money, and no bank account, I don't see how it could work

It's okay, you already helped

[Andy]

I’m really sorry to hear you are allowed so little independence, I understand how it makes seeking any kind of care much harder. But in that case I think it is even more important to try brainstorm ways of safely getting at least some, being on your own without having support or someone on your side in such situation can get really hard.
Are your parents actively holding things like your ID or money from you? How do you generally feel at home with them?

[Wisteria]

I don't have any ID at all yet, or money because I have no job either.

Really, it's okay

[Heather]

Hey, Wisteria. I'm so sorry you're still struggling so much.

You know, it might be that getting at least your ID can be one step towards you having greater independence and agency. If you need any help figuring out how to do that, I'd be happy to help you find that information for your state and location. As someone who has not driven for most of my life, I'd also be happy to help you look into what, if any, public transit is available to you in your area.

I am also a little concerned about the T you are using if it hasn't been prescribed to you specifically, which it sounds like it probably hasn't if you don't have any ID. I'm not worried because microdosing T isn't safe in and of itself (it is), but more in terms of the reliability and safety of whatever source you might be getting it from. Of course, too, ideally, you are only taking medications prescribed to you by a healthcare provider who knows about all your health history, including your OCD. <3