had sex for the first, why can't I cum?
-
F3ar_bellx
- not a newbie
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2025 1:16 am
- Age: 19
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: straight
- Location: California
had sex for the first, why can't I cum?
So I recently just lost my virginity, and I've been having the feeling of cumming, but it never really comes, and I feel like I want to force myself to cum, but I also feel like I'm focusing too much on it, but i dont know how to stop myself from thinking about it and enjoy the moment.
Any tips or things I can do?
Any tips or things I can do?
-
Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 10767
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 1:43 pm
- Age: 56
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for nearly 30 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: had sex for the first, why can't I cum?
Hi there, and welcome to the boards.
Can you make clear for me if you are asking about orgasm, ejaculation, or both? Can you also fill me in on what your history is with whichever of these you are asking about when it comes to your own masturbation? Can you also tell me a little about the kinds of sex you have been taking part in -- both alone and with a partner -- and if you have been enjoying those, even if you haven't reached orgasm with them?
Can you make clear for me if you are asking about orgasm, ejaculation, or both? Can you also fill me in on what your history is with whichever of these you are asking about when it comes to your own masturbation? Can you also tell me a little about the kinds of sex you have been taking part in -- both alone and with a partner -- and if you have been enjoying those, even if you haven't reached orgasm with them?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
-
F3ar_bellx
- not a newbie
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2025 1:16 am
- Age: 19
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: straight
- Location: California
Re: had sex for the first, why can't I cum?
hi heather!
yes so im asking about orgasm. ive masturbated before having sex for the frist time and i never got to the point were i was going to have an orgasm, and its now somethings that came up with my partner in having sex. And yes ive been enjoying this i dont know if im thinking to much on it and cant orgasm or i might have a hard time leading to have an orgasm.
yes so im asking about orgasm. ive masturbated before having sex for the frist time and i never got to the point were i was going to have an orgasm, and its now somethings that came up with my partner in having sex. And yes ive been enjoying this i dont know if im thinking to much on it and cant orgasm or i might have a hard time leading to have an orgasm.
-
maille
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 127
- Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2025 1:42 pm
- Age: 20
- Awesomeness Quotient: i make a delicious shrimp pasta dish
- Pronouns: she/her/hers
- Sexual identity: bisexual
- Location: North America
Re: had sex for the first, why can't I cum?
Hi there! I am glad to hear you are enjoying the partnered sex you are having, but hear that you are curious as to why you didn't orgasm.
Media can often depict orgasm as the closing act for sex, which can be the case, but is often not. I wonder what it would feel like for you to take the pressure off yourself and focus on the sensations of sex itself.
One question- what kinds of sex are you having with your partner? Knowing this will help us to know what body parts are being stimulated. This article has a list that might help you give words to the type of sex you are having.
It is also worth noting if may be more difficult to orgasm with a partner if you haven't found what works for you on your own. This article is a great read and can take us back to the basics of solo masturbation.
Let us know how you feel after giving those articles a peek!
Media can often depict orgasm as the closing act for sex, which can be the case, but is often not. I wonder what it would feel like for you to take the pressure off yourself and focus on the sensations of sex itself.
One question- what kinds of sex are you having with your partner? Knowing this will help us to know what body parts are being stimulated. This article has a list that might help you give words to the type of sex you are having.
It is also worth noting if may be more difficult to orgasm with a partner if you haven't found what works for you on your own. This article is a great read and can take us back to the basics of solo masturbation.
Let us know how you feel after giving those articles a peek!