When should I talk about vaginismus with my gynecologist?

[ohmother]

Hi, I’m here again! I haven’t been online much due to dealing with chronic illness, but I wanted to discuss vaginismus, and I don’t know if this is the right board to do it, but I think it’s related enough.

So I cant really finger myself, like at all. I can’t insert something without it just being hit by a “wall”, and my vaginal canal just feels like it closes. I know I can have things in there that are longer, since I’ve gone to the gyno and gotten swabbed 2 times to check for yeast infection, but anything else, even something slightly bigger, it doesn’t fit. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t finger myself much, but I am worried, incase I do want to have sexual penetration later on. Also, my vaginal canal and my entire vulva does spasm when I orgasm and masturbate, which I don’t know if it’s normal, but it happens for me. I just wanted to ask incase this needs to be checked out, or this is just normal for someone in like the tail end of puberty.

Thanks so much!

[Heather]

Hi there, ohmother.

Since you have had no issues with things like pap smears, and you aren't experiencing any discomfort or pain when you try to insert your fingers, it sounds unlikely that you have vaginismus to me. It sounds much more likely you're just putting your finger in at the wrong angle (the vagina curves up into the body, rather than going straight back, if you're unaware). Muscle spasms are also a normal part of sexual response, and not anything to worry about.

It may also be that when you are doing that with your fingers, you just aren't relaxing: when we tense up while trying to do that, that can feel that way, too, like the vagina is unyielding. And how anything will go when you engage in vaginal intercourse later in life depends on a whole lot of things, but if that's something you really want at the time, if you're relaxed and aroused, if you're using lubricant as needed and have a partner who is responsive to your feedback, there's no reason to assume intercourse will be a problem for you.

If you wanted to check in with your OB/GYN about this, though, there's no reason you couldn't or shouldn't. They are there for concerns and questions like this, so if you have access to that help, you should feel free to use it.

I do want to add that at best, you're someone who is probably mid-puberty, not at the tail end. For those with a uterus and vagina, puberty doesn't tend to end until the early to even mid-twenties. That's not really relevant to any of this, but I just wanted to let you know that you're probably still going to be going through changes with puberty for at least a few more years, if not longer.

[ohmother]

Thank you Heather! I wanted to make it clear, though, I did not get a Pap smear, or at-least, I think I didn’t. I put my feet up on two like feet holder?? Things?? And a q-tip was inserted inside. Nothing held me open.

Thanks for letting me know though! It can be painful if more than one finger is inserted, but other than that, that makes sense. It’s hard to finger yourself, to be honest, since I mostly do stuff lying down because I feel more comfortable that way. Outside of everything else, my reproductive stuff is looking good! I had a laparoscopy during September, so everything looks fine. Thank you so much for the response!

[Heather]

Ah, I see, they just did some collection of fluids with a swab. Sorry that I misunderstood.

I would say to keep an eye on this. You're right fingering yourself isn't all that doable for most folks, so it's going to be hard to tell if there is an issue here just based on this or not. But unless you want to go and get checked out about it -- which again, you can if you want! -- I personally think you can just keep an eye on this and see what bears our over time.