sexting and kind of not knowing when the time is right?

[Rainyclouds]

So basically, me and my kind of partner have been with each other for like about a year and some and in that time, we've sexted a few times now and it's been so great. The issue is though I don't think I've really started the sexting, and I really want to. Usually when we do, he starts off with how he misses me and then afterwards will say how he wants to touch me and I'll go further with what he's saying, saying that I want to rub against him or whatever else. Whenever I've been aroused and try and start something I go "hey I miss you so much right now" and he just goes "aw me too" and then it kind of ends there. Sometimes I go a little further like "I really wish I was next to you right now" and like same thing happens more like a "aw I totally wish I could be with you!" rather than a more sexual response. Should I be more direct? I know that sometimes he doesn't pick up on stuff but I'm worried that he just doesn't feel in the mood to sext with me and I just don't want to make things awkward. pls help

[Latha]

Hello and welcome to the boards, Rainyclouds!

If your partner isn't picking up on your hints, I think it is fair to be more direct. In this context, talking about specifics--how you want to touch them or how you are feeling--might be harder to misinterpret than saying you wish you were next to them.

I get how it could feel awkward if you initiated and your partner was not not in the mood to sext, but does it have to be that way? If your partner has been initiating this whole time and it has been great, it probably means they enjoy doing this activity with you. Them not being in the mood at a given moment would not change that, and it would not mean you had done something wrong by asking to sext.

You can't expect yourself to be able to read your partner's mind about when they want sex, nor can they do that for you. But you can be honest about what you want and leave space for them to say yes or no. Think of it this way: by expressing your interest in sexting, you've given your partner an invitation and a compliment. They can decline the former and still appreciate the latter. If both of you agree that isn't awkward, it won't be awkward.

[Rainyclouds]

Latha thanks for the reply! and honestly thanks that actually helps a lot and helps reframe my mindset on things :]

[Tara]

We are glad to help - please let us know if you need anything else.