why can’t i feel any pleasure until i orgasm?

[cabaret16]

my clit doesn’t feel like anything at all. i’m 16 afab. whenever i try to touch it, i don’t feel anything at all until i actually orgasm—or i feel the tiniest bit a few seconds before i do. that’s it though… why??

[amber]

Hi cabaret16 and welcome!

I'd be happy to chat with you about the feelings you are describing. There are a handful of things that may be happening but I want to start by reassuring you that lots of folks come onto our boards with similar concerns!

To orgasm it makes sense that your body is feeling sensations and pleasure. Are you feeling sensations other places in your body?

It makes sense that you'd want to feel good in other ways besides your orgasm. We have an article on masturbation that I think could be helpful in thinking of other forms of touch that you could try and may feel better for your body -- Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation .

It might also be that you are not directly touching your clit but instead just around the area. It may feel good to explore touch on the area more generally and then let the pleasure you receive guide your touch. We tend to hyper focus on the clit (for good reason) but it takes time for blood to rush down and our bodies to warm up to feel the most sensation there. It sounds to me like exploring different forms of touch may be your best bet here!

[cabaret16]

i used to when i was younger, but i don’t anymore. like i can’t feel anything anywhere until i orgasm

[amber]

I wonder if what you are thinking of as an orgasm is more your body finding what feels good. Do you usually stop after your orgasm?

Were you able to read the article I shared? I think trying new things will still be your best bet here and I'd be happy to share more articles on our site which could help guide that!

[cabaret16]

yeah, i stop after cause otherwise it hurts. i read it. also, ive read that birth control or some psych meds can affect stuff like that?

[lilikoi]

Hi cabaret16!

SSRIs can impact your genital sensitivity. If you are on SSRIs and noticing that symptom, you can speak to your psychiatrist about the symptoms and talk over alternative options. Has this lack of sensitivity been your experience for long? In the research I did, I did not see that birth control causes decreases in genital sensitivity but I will check in with our team to see if that is a symptom I am unaware of.

[cabaret16]

yes, it’s been like this for about 4 years out of the about 9 years i’ve been doing that stuff. i’m on an SSRI

[Anya]

Hey there cabaret16,

Could you tell us what kind of birth control you are on? If you are using hormonal birth control, pill, patch, implant, or hormonal IUD, it could potentially be tied to this. If you have a copper IUD or use a diaphram, it will not be tied to this. If you are concerned about this, definitely talk to your doctor if possible. I know it can feel so embarassing to talk about this stuff with them but I promise they are not judging, or really thinking anything of it, they just want you to be happy and healthy, so if this is an option for you, this would be the first step i'd take.

If it is not the BC, I would then bet that it's becuase of the SSRIs. Here is an advice column of ours that I want to share: Can't Orgasm Because of Antidepressants. Even though this piece focuses on the effects on someone with a penis, it is generally quite similar regardless of genitals, the effects from SSRIs. I would definitely recommend talking to your doctor, or whoever prescribed you the medication about alternative options.

I would say, since it seems these are both potentials, it is truly a tough situation to be in, and i'm sorry it requires so much intervention! Please let us know if you need more help processing or figuring out where to go next. How does all this feel?

[cabaret16]

i’m on the pill! thank you so much for the help