love lifes sucks

[snarteatsworld]

Hey y'all, first-time asker, long-time reader here. I've just been contemplating recently bc i really want to be in a relationship and have sex, etc., etc., but I'm 17 and have literally never dated anyone, which is embarrassing, but whatever. I just can't help but feel that this is it for me--if I don't get into a relationship now, then I will be alone with my cats as an old lady FOREVER. Not that I mind cats, but you know what I mean. I really love love and sex and having someone by my side but I have no clue how to achieve that. Any advice on how to get into a relationship (either romantic or casual, I DONT EVEN CARE ANYMORE) and/or how to stop feeling like this??

[Anya]

Hey snarteatsworld,

I want to first name that there really is no timeline to these things, so I don't want you to worry about being "behind," when "behindness" really doesn't exist. As much as other teenagers want you to believe there is some sort of unversal timeline we all follow, there really is not, and the more you try to believe this, the more peace I think you're able to find in wherever you're at; something that yeah, unfortunately can take time to truly believe, but trust me is worth it. Worrying about the future typically doesn't change anything in the way we wish it would, so maybe instead let's think about what are some options for present actions you might be able to take.

I know you mentioned that your focuses really are relationships and sex, but I would challenge you a little bit to think more about just building connections first, and then being open to how they might change or allow you to meet even more people. Have you thought about or are a part of school clubs, sports, or after school activities? This is usually where people find they can meet others more easily, so if you haven't already, I would consider taking a hobby you already like or want to learn and trying to find somewhere to do it with others! I would urge you still to go into these experiences not expecting anything specific, but being open to whatever and whoever you connect with.

How does this feel to you?

I also want to name that our user policy clearly states that users must register with their actual birthdate and age, which given that the age you claimed in this post is different from your registered age, I just wanted to briefly mention. So please either update you age or let me know if the registered age is correct. Thanks!