Struggling with food, is it an ED???

[B9Benny]

I’m a trans guy and I just turned 17. I’ve been overweight pretty much since I started puberty. This comes from both sides of my family.
I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but I’ve had issues with food since middle school. I had issues with what I think would be considered binge eating, where I would eat a lot, especially at night, and then feel super guilty. I also have trouble stopping eating, even when it hurts and I don’t want to anymore.
When I read about eating disorders or see them in media it messes me up for the next couple days and I will be preoccupied with food, usually trying to not eat for as long as possible. I am on a medication that has a side effect of reduced appetite, and when I first started it I figured out that I wasn’t hungry and I would barely eat. I lost 20 pounds in a couple months but have gained that all back after starting testosterone (which can increase appetite). I have never purged because I hate throwing up but I have considered it. I don’t believe I have a specific eating disorder because I can’t “stick with it”/my symptoms and severity are always changing. It gets worse after I hear or read about ED stuff or one of my parents say something kind of insensitive about what I eat.
I haven’t brought this up with my doctor or therapist or mom yet because I don’t know how to start the conversation.
I would like to know the difference between an eating disorder and disordered eating, as well as maybe someways to talk about this with a doctor?

[Heather]

Hey again, B9Benny.

Ultimately, this is outside our areas of expertise as people who's skills and education when it comes to bodies education is centered on sex, sexuality and relationships, not EDs.

That said, it does sound like you're generally describing binge eating. Whether or not that's an ED for you, rather than something that you just do now and then, and that isn't animated by the kinds of thing that animate an. ED, only a qualified healthcare provider could say. Ideally, that's an ED specialist, but if you can't directly access that person, a general healthcare provider could get started on that road with you.

To start that conversation, i'd just do something like you did right here: I'd say that you want to talk about some concerns you have about some of your eating. Then I'd share what you have here and see what they say. How does that sound?