Why doesn’t my mom allow me this?

[PenguinsRcool]

So apparently my mother has told me a few times that Im not allowed to use tampons until Im 18. Why? In the beginning I thought this was an actual law but I saw in my old school (which it was both a middle and high school together) had both pads and tampons in the girls bathroom. I know Im legally an adult by 18, does she think that inserting something in me is the same as intercourse? Even if it isn’t sexual?

Because of this I literally had to make my own with toilet paper just so my anxiety level would drop to a zero (Im always scared if it bleeds through my clothes) because man these pads aren’t really nifty to me.

[char]

Hi again Penguins! You're right, there isn't a law anywhere else that forbids any menstruating folk from using tampons.

It's possible that what you mentioned in your post is the case here; some people, particularly those who were raised in an environment where sex outside of vaginal intercourse between a married couple consisting of straight, cisgender folks is considered taboo and "sinful," believe that the vulva has to be "preserved" for "someone special." In these communities, people (usually women; though as we know, not everyone with vulvas are women) are expected to keep anything away from their vagina so that they remain a "virgin." If they inserted anything into their vagina, even a menstrual product like a tampon or a menstrual cup, they are considered "tainted." As you can see, there's a lot of issues with this mindset, and you might be familiar with it yourself. Using insertive menstrual products is not the same as having sex. And everyone has the agency to do whatever they want with their bodies while also getting access to education about their bodies that is accurate, inclusive, and non-judgmental.

Would it be possible for you to ask your mom about her reasoning? It sounds like using menstrual pads isn't the most ideal for you. If it doesn't look like it's safe for you to get yourself tampons, there are non-insertive options you can consider, such as reusable/washable pads and period underwear.

[Heather]

Hey there, PenguinsRCool. I'm going to stop in your other thread as well, but I just want to make sure you know to not try and hand-make a tampon with toilet paper like you did again since that wasn't addressed here yet.

Toilet paper is absolutely not designed to go -- nor is it ay all safe for -- inside the vagina. Tampons are engineered much differently, including to assure that when used properly, fibers from them don't wind up separating from the tampon. Putting something like wadded up toilet paper inside presents a much bigger risk of dangerous infections, like Toxic Shock Syndrome, than tampons used properly do. Please stop doing this immediately, for your health.

Instead, I suggest that if you want to use tampons, you use tampons. A parent can't actually dictate what you do with your body like your mother is trying to. You have the right to manage your menstrual flow however you like. I don't know why your mother made that arbitrary rule, but it's not one you have to follow. You can talk to her about it if you want, but you also have the right to just buy yourself some tampons and use them if pads don't work for you.