Advice on following what you want

[Berkeley2003]

Hi! I’ve been thinking about what my therapist told me about trying to follow what I want and try to refrain from thinking about other people. This is regards to my gender transition and I’ve been feeling stuck recently. I’ve had short haircuts, dressed more masculine. I’m not out with my preferred name in all settings. I haven’t gotten to fully trying out he/him. I was on T for like three months but stopped. I think a lot about what other people may think and want versus centering what I want. I often decenter myself.

[mikky]

Hey Berkeley2003,
I find a lot of us are challenged to pick out what we want from what other people want for us, or what we think we should want, or limit ourselves in wanting at all because it feels bad or shameful to want. I’m glad this is something you are thinking about and willing to try centering yourself more.
When you reflect on the gender-affirming steps you have taken, like cutting your hair, do those moments feel like you were driven by what you wanted?
Have you identified what it is that you want? If yes, what do YOU want?
Are there specific people you consider the opinions of a lot/center? Is it more generally the idea of “other people”? Both?