Anal sex

[abcdefghijklm]

Hi, i'm female and my bf really wants to have anal which is fine for me i don't really feel pleasured when i get smt up my but, but the fact that it turns him on so much to put smt up there turns me on as well so i'm fine with anal, and he doesn't push me to do anything i don't wanna do. the thing is i've never done it. he somtimes put a finger up there which didn't hurt or anything but it felt like i was activevly pooping which is a bit of a weir feeling during sex. last time we tried to have proper anal and he tried putting his dick in my but which worked but i could only take it for a few seconds cause at some point it really hurt and i think he wasn't even conpletely inside. I just wanna know if someone knows any advice for it, like how to not make it hurt or even be pleasurable for myself cause i really wanna do it to i has just felt a little weird until now, but i really wanna do it.

[mikky]

Hello,
You had two other posts here that contained some conflicting information. You shared you felt you had an abnormally high libido and that "it's not like my bf can't make me finish, i do come every time but i never seem to get enough," and in another reply, that you've recently been struggling to finish.
Can you clarify what you're experiencing right now?

With this post, I would like to know more about why you really want to do have this type of sex. Is it because your boyfriend really enjoys it?

We have some articles that could be a good starting point for you:
Why does anal sex hurt?
anal sex lowdown
What anal sex is and is not.

[abcdefghijklm]

Hi to clarify: my libido is ridiculusly high and in the past which means about a momth ago i was able to finish everytime during sex with my bf. but we've had taken a break so we didn't have sex for about a month and after we started having sex again i've been struggeling a lot to climax, but befor thw break everything was fine. Regarding my libido: it was really high before hr break as well which is why i couldn't seem to get enough. Now that we're intimate again my libido i still really high and i'm not even able to finish during sex which makes it worse. But even when i used to orgasm just fine my libido was off limits. Hope this helps

[Heather]

I always want to remind people that there's nothing abnormal or ridiculous about phases in life -- or even decades and decades of life -- where you feel sexual desire often or enjoy and want sex often. A lot of younger people in this era, in particular, seem to have gotten the idea that feeling strong sexual desire often is unusual or wrong, but it really isn't, and telling ourselves it is is rarely beneficial to us.

As well, having a lot of sexual desire doesn't mean a lot of orgasm. For sure, feeling desire is usually part of the picture, but it's by no means all of the picture. How and if we experience orgasm also depends on things like if what we're doing sexually on our own or with partners is actually satisfying for us, what's going on in our relationship with a partner or with ourselves, how we're generally feeling in our bodies and our minds, like how much stress we are or aren't carrying, as well as what we're focusing on. If and when people focus a lot on trying to reach orgasm, that typically has the opposite effect: it's focusing on pleasure, not orgasm, that makes it more likely sex will be satisfying and include orgasm.

Mikky asked:

With this post, I would like to know more about why you really want to do have this type of sex. Is it because your boyfriend really enjoys it?

I also think that's the right question to look at. Wanting our partners to experience pleasure too, is a good thing, but partners just won't always want to do or like the same things. So, it may be that while your boyfriend wants anal sex, it isn't something you also want for yourself -- which is just as important -- or enjoy. Part of being in a sexual partnership with someone else is understanding that we are different people who won't always want or like the same things, and learning to get good at accepting it easily and without it being a big deal when we want to do something our partners just aren't into. Same goes for being okay ourselves if and when a partner wants something we don't. I'm sure you two can find other things you're both excited about if this isn't it, which it sounds like it isn't.

If this is something you do want for yourself as well, not just because your boyfriend wants it, the links Mikky shared should be helpful to you. If you have more questions after reading them, we're happy to answer those for you.