How to anal masturbate?

[blahaj78]

So I have tried anal masturbating a decent amount of times now. I have some things I’d like to know.
Firstly, every time I do and I feel some poop there, it ruins the experience for me. I also really hate how my fingers smell after. I want to try douching, but I don’t know how. I have already bought an enema bulb but I am too unsure to try. What if I do something wrong and hurt myself?
Second, I really don’t know when I’ve truly “relaxed” or “opened up” enough like I have read you are supposed to. I start off slow with one finger and work my way up and can get up to three. It’s not painful but the third one feels a little like a stretch. But I feel like as soon as I relax my hole or my fingers my finger/s will just slide out. Like it’s very tight? Is that how it’s supposed to be?
Thirdly, I can’t get really aroused from just the anal alone, I have to be stroking myself too. And I am really not sure how pleasurable the anal even is. I feel like it’s not as good as I hoped, but maybe I need to try something different. I feel like I’m putting a little pressure on myself for this to be good, because I want to have more sources of pleasure than just stroking myself. Because I’m worried that it won’t be enough for a future partner one day. I can’t do inserting with my anatomy and I feel like I have to compensate for that loss.

[Anya]

Hi blahaj78,

It seems like you've got a few questions about anal masturbation that you'd like some help with, as well as trying to figure out what is exactly right for you. So let's get into it!

First, it is very normal to feel or see a bit of fecal matter in the rectum when inserting anything inside. This is nothing to be ashamed of, and because we all have human bodies, everybody who is interested in any form of anal stimulation also experiences this. It is completely up to you to decide what to do here, douching is an option, but going natural is also a common option. It's understandable that douching seems scary at first, so if it's something you're wanting to try, start very slow, only fill the douche with a little bit of water and gently squeeze it inside. Without a ton of pressure, let it then fall back out of you. You only need to do this a few times since poop is stored in the bowels, not the rectum, so only a bit should be inside where you can touch. Make sure to not stick it too far as you don't want it to leave the short tube that is your rectum. If you want to forego douching, just make sure that you are washing your hands/other objects before and after insertion to prevent spreading any bacteria. In general, when engaging in anal stimulation, there is always the expectation that there could be a bit of poop involved. Anyone expecting a totally clean, orderless, body is probably gonna have a hard time relaxing and actually enjoying the activity.

Now, on the topic of enjoyment, it does seem like you're putting a bit of pressure on yourself to feel quite sexually aroused by this. In general, the best way to increase your likelihood of experiencing sexual arousal is to avoid unnecessary stress or mental pressure, making expectation you put on yourself, pretty much a mood killer. I would do your best to avoid spiraling about the future or future partners, and right now just focus on feeling good and being safe in the present. In terms of tightness too, this is very normal and nothing to worry about, but I do think could be exacerbated a bit by the pressure you're putting on yourself psychologically. If you can try your best to fight back against insecurity, worry, and expectation, I think your enjoyment is going to be a lot better. Does this make sense to you?