I need help calming my girlfriend down

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Jasonsings177
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I need help calming my girlfriend down

Unread post by Jasonsings177 »

Hello again,
My girlfriend is due for her period sometime between March 8th-10th, and right now she's expiriencing very slight to slight cramps, her breasts & back hurt (from time to time not every second of the day) and she said she's still having white discharge. Is this normal? She is still freaking out thinking of every possible & way saying that she is pregnant (for those who all saw/looked at my last post you would know what happened). I don't know what to tell her. I love her very much, but I don't know how to calm her down. I told her to talk to someone about it but she's too nervous to talk to anyone else but me about it-- but I'm trying to tell her that there is no risk. What can I do? :?
And let me add that she says it looks like her nipples/areolas look darker to her. And her & I both heard that's usually one of the first signs of pregnancy... She also says she feels like she needs to pee more than usual.
1 more quick question: I saw on a website that a pregnancy symptom/sign is that a womans gag reflex is more sensitive when they're pregnant? True?
Heather
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Re: I need help calming my girlfriend down

Unread post by Heather »

I would say that holding a boundary with her about her needing to talk to someone else about this is probably the best help you could give her at this point.

I would also suggest that you hold a boundary that if she wants to keep talking to you about thinking she is pregnant, then you two have to get and have her take a pregnancy test. Her keeping herself from the facts of the situation here is certainly not helping her: it's just keeping her in this panic.

Did we already link you to our page where we talk about how the whole approach of pregnancy "symptoms" is problematic, so talk like that just is not sound?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Jasonsings177
not a newbie
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:10 pm
Age: 26
Location: United states

Re: I need help calming my girlfriend down

Unread post by Jasonsings177 »

No I don't think I saw that link.
Where we're from, we can't just go and buy a pregnancy test.
Johanna
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Re: I need help calming my girlfriend down

Unread post by Johanna »

This is likely the article that Heather was talking about: Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul

What is keeping you from being able to buy a pregnancy test?
"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand
Jasonsings177
not a newbie
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:10 pm
Age: 26
Location: United states

Re: I need help calming my girlfriend down

Unread post by Jasonsings177 »

We live about a half an hour away from the nearest store, and that's by car.
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9564
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I need help calming my girlfriend down

Unread post by Heather »

Okay, so.

One thing we obviously know moving forward is that there are some basic things you guys need access to for sex to be okay for everyone you haven't sorted out yet, so it sounds like it'd be smart to talk about taking sex off the table for now until that changes. She obviously isn't comfortable with this -- and that's even given you did something that doesn't pose a pregnancy risk in the first place -- and if the things that are needed to help her feel okay with it are out of reach? It's usually not the best choice to keep being sexual with someone in that spot anyway. Rather, you want to take all those cues that things are too fast for that person and slow it alllllllllll the way down, you know?

For now, do either of you know anyone who does drive who you can grab a ride with the next time they go to run a general errand to go to the store, as people do? If not, how about brainstorming that together to come up with a few people to ask for that ride so you can get that test and she can put this to bed?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Jasonsings177
not a newbie
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:10 pm
Age: 26
Location: United states

Re: I need help calming my girlfriend down

Unread post by Jasonsings177 »

Yes we do know someone we could talk to about buying her one to calm her down. Thank you.
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