About periods

[hungrypenguin_]

Hi, i'm currently writing this on the third day of my period.

It's been approximately 6 months since I had unprotected sex for the first time (I know, it was stupid and I would never do it again). I had my period twice already after that and never has any sexual intercourse with anyone ever again. I just got my third period about two days ago, my head is telling me that this is not my usual period, even though it is.

Periods are very incosistent and flowd could change. Even with that in mind I still could not shake the feeling that....what if i had an ectopic pregnancy or an undetected pregnancy.

I know, people are going to say that I need to take a test to reassure my fears, but due to my living conditions, I could not.

I need someone to confirm that this is actually my period not some bleeding that is caused by something else

[Sofi]

Hi hungrypenguin,

In theory, and so you know in the future, we can't confirm anything since we aren't medical professionals and there to do a pregnancy test.

That said, it's highly unlikely this is an ectopic pregnancy. Not only are they very rare, but given you had two full periods ever since you last had sex, it just doesn't make sense. While there can be some bleeding during an ectopic pregnancy, it wouldn't be two full periods like you're describing.

I see this isn't the first time you are worried about pregnancy related concerns. Have you had anxiety around this a lot? We can talk to you about working through that anxiety, but we can't keep reassuring pregnancy scares when there isn't really a real risk.

[hungrypenguin_]

My anxiety comes back everytime my period ends and when i'm waiting for it to arrive. I thought it will dissapeae but nope

[Latha]

Hi there, Hungrypenguin

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with these worries that are not going away. If we are thinking about how to work through the anxiety, it might help to consider what is causing it in the first place. Would you go over this article of ours, and tell us if anything stands out to you? You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You Think You Are?

In your last conversation, Char suggested methods of finding contraception and pregnancy tests that would be discreet in Jakarta. Do any of those sound viable for you/did they help with your concerns around pregnancy? And like they asked, do you think there might be any external factors contributing to your stress?

(I know, it was stupid and I would never do it again)

I understand this is an offhand statement, but I want to assure you that you don't need to justify yourself to us like this. We're not here to wag a finger at you, to say you did something stupid or just should know better. That would be judgemental. We're here to support you, and help you gain the knowledge you need to make the decisions you want to make for yourself.

[hungrypenguin_]

Thank you very much for your help!! Correction on my part, I had four periods since last I had penetrative sex. I keep looking and feeling at my tummy to see if anything is growing or if it looks weird. Even though by this point it would be around 6 months.

honestly I need to stop doing it because it's making me worry even more

[KierC]

Hey hungrypenguin,

It sounds like the idea of pregnancy is a real source of anxiety for you, and I’m sorry that it’s been so distressing. As others have said, we’re here to help you with this.

Do you feel like you get anxious about other things in life to this degree, or is it mostly pregnancy scares that make you really worried? I ask because if you’re experiencing really bothersome anxiety like this, it might be most helpful to have some professional mental health support. <3

I agree that focusing a lot on the changes in your body can do more work to keep you in an anxious state. It can be more helpful to remind yourself of what actually happened (which does not cause pregnancy) instead of looking for signs in your body, know what I mean?

[hungrypenguin_]

I do get anxious about other things like life altering events for example, my head keeps telling me that i'm right, that my thoughts are correct (even though it's genuinely impossible). I keep trying to feel any miniscule movements in my belly and furiously google-ing it to see if it's a symptom or not. It's genuinely a horrible habbit that i'm trying to shake off.

It did dissipate for a while but it'll always come back no matter what i do. I am currently trying to find a therapist that I could talk to, to atleast make me feel better. I also keep a note full of screenshots from here and other places basically telling me that I am fine and out of the woods, so that i could look at it once a while.

Truly, you guys have been helping me a lot. The reason I came here in the first place was because my fear and anxiety, it got so bad at one point i couldn't even think properly and my friends had to calm me down. I feel a little bit better now even with the thoughts still lingering.

I appreciate you guys a lot!!

[KierC]

Hey there <3

Yes, finding a therapist is a great plan, I’m glad to hear you’re doing that. How is the process going? Are you finding some therapists you’d like to check out?

I’m really glad to hear this has been helpful for you. We’re rooting for you. I know it’s so not easy dealing with anxiety (I deal with it myself), but I really am hopeful that with some support this can ease up. Glad to hear you have friends, too, who can help you feel more calm. <3

We’re glad you’re here

[hungrypenguin_]

I'm still on the lookout at the moment because of financial restraints and other stuff too

[Andy]

Hi hungrypenguin_, I am sorry to hear you haven’t been having trouble finding affordable therapists, I really hope you find someone that fits your financial and other needs.

It can’t replace professional help, but in the meantime before you can access that, there are some self-help strategies for managing anxiety, like these for example: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-he ... strategies
You can try some and see which work the best for you to have some tools for yourself for when the anxiety hits.