Concerned

[mham52396]

Hi guys I'm Michelle. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We mainly had oral sex with each other but in the past months we decided to have vaginal intercourse. On February 23, after my period, we decided to have sex. It turned out that he mostly just rubbed his genitals on my vagina with a spermicidal condom and never really made it inside. I am nervous and I know I am not mature enough for sex. I then decided to try again and be brave so we recently tried again Monday and Yeaterday, but the same thing happened once more..him having trouble getting inside and rubbing his genitals on my vagina and I guess he somewhat got in because it kind of hurt. Each time we used a spermicidal latex condom and checked for pores or holes. We are sure none were present each time by filling it with water, as we saw on YouTube. I'm worried about several things and I have no one to talk to. One... Today I had some mucus looking discharge that was a brown color with what looked like blood in my panties. It then stopped after a few moments.. Now thete is no bleeding. My period is due on Saturday and I'm usually regular. I'm concerned if that is implantation bleeding or a sign my period is coming.. Because I am having severe cramping as of right now.. What if I messed up the condom and didn't realize..Another thing is how do I stop from being so nervous and childish about sex... Why can he get inside? I'm thinking its because I'm so nervous and not realizing how tense I am.. Can someone help me?

[Heather]

Welcome to the boards.

First up, as you may know from our content about pregnancy scares, your next step, if you are concerned you are currently pregnant, is to take a pregnancy test. That way, we don't waste your time or ours talking about what-ifs when there is just no need, since we can know that answer, okay? Then we can go ahead and only talk about a pregnancy if you are pregnant, and talk about other issues instead if you're not.

I'm not sure what you mean about "being childish about sex." Are you saying you feel it is childish to have concerns about pregnancy from the kinds of sex that pose those risks? If so, I disagree with you (and not just because children, of course, aren't going to have any cause for this particular concern!). Being worried about the risk of an outcome you don't want is sound, and if you are feeling like using condoms alone isn't enough protection for you to feel comfortable with...well, welcome to a very large club. A lot of people don't feel comfortable with condoms alone, and there's nothing childish about wanting or needing a greater level of protection, or a different method, period.

Do you also want to talk about the issues you had with intercourse from a physics perspective, still?