Vaginal expansion

[FanndisTS]

Hello,
As far as I can tell from my research, vaginas are supposed to expand when its possessor is aroused, both in width and depth, stretching to accommodate whatever gets stuck in there (within reasonable limits, of course). However, I have not found this to be the case; even after I have come a few times, nothing will go more than two or three inches deep (I'm pretty sure I'm hitting my cervix). I don't think it's an issue with arousal (you'll just have to trust me on that). I know that penetration isn't the only (or most common) way for people with vaginas to get off, and I'm as happy with my clitoris as the next biological female, but penetration (partnered or otherwise) is something that I'm really curious about and have been working up to. Is this normal? Will the vagina expand more (when aroused) with practice? Thanks!

[Sam W]

Hi Fanndis,

You're right that arousal plays a big role in how the vagina reacts to penetration. I would say the other big factor is lubrication. Even when people are aroused they often still need some additional lube. When you've been experimenting, have you brought any lube into the mix?

[FanndisTS]

No (I mean, the condom was lubricated, but I'm not sure that counts). I was going to try that next. It wasn't sticking or dragging, though, it was just hitting the end. Could mild discomfort from lack of lube cause that? I'll definitely try, though.

[Heather]

Yeah, it so doesn't count. Condoms have the smallest, smallest bit of lube on them, just enough to keep the latex in good shape before use, but often nothing close to enough for people's pleasure and comfort.

Too, know that some of this also may depend on your angle with things. How it feels inside the vagina and where the cervix is in it isn't the same from every angle, way of reaching in there, or every way a person's pelvis is tilted at the time.

Have you had trouble with comfortable and pleasurable vaginal entry, be it intercourse or use of a dildo? If not, I'd not make any big presumptions about this, because it may be that what you're observing or feeling from whatever you're doing yourself to feel inside your vagina isn't going to be the same in other contexts.

[FanndisTS]

TI've really just started trying penetration outside of a finger or two, so I haven't had any really good experiences with it yet... but not any really bad ones either (they tend to be kind of mediocre). It might just be that I'm just a bit nervous 'cause I'm exploring my body in a new way; could my mental state have something to do with the failure of my vagina to expand even if my body's pretty completely relaxed (directly after or between clitoral orgasms)?

[Heather]

Well, also, when we're at the angles we usually can be to reach into one's own vagina, the cervix will always feel closer because of the way we have to angle our bodies to do that. How it feels to you, doing that, and where it is doing that won't be the same as how it would be if someone else was doing the same thing with you, or with intercourse.

That's what I was trying to get at up there.

And yep, being nervous can definitely impact some or all of sexual response, including how the body responds when aroused. Just FYI, there's actually no such thing as a clitoral orgasm: orgasm is primarily about the brain and central nervous system, it's just that the way we get to one can create some differences in how an orgasm feels.

[FanndisTS]

Okie dokie, thanks! Also: oops! I was using "clitoral orgasm" as shorthand for "orgasm directly brought about by clitoral stimulation"...