Should I lose my virginity?

[aubreyrose]

I've been hooking up with one of my best guy friends for about a month and we talked about taking it one step further and going all the way. We're both ready for sex and he said it was my decision if we actually do go all the way or not. He doesn't pressure me to do anything I don't want to do, he's very respectful of my decisions, and he always asks for my permission before we go any further. We both agreed that we would be super careful and he makes me feel really comfortable. My problem is that I'm not sure if I should lose my virginity to him because (1) we're not official, (2) I'm going away to college soon, and (3) if I lose my virginity to him I know I'll be losing it to someone who won't take advantage of me and would still have a lasting friendship; but if I don't lose my virginity to him I'm afraid I'll get carried away and end up losing my v card to a future boyfriend or future hookup in college that won't be anything like the boy I'm hooking up with now. So my question is, should I go all the way with him?

[Eddie C]

Hello there, aubreyrose.

This is one of those things that is going to be only up to you. You are the expert about yourself, and only you can -- and should -- take this decision. I'm assuming you are talking about having intercourse here, but correct me if I am wrong.

I think those questions you are asking to yourself are very valid questions. When we are going to be sexually involved with someone is good to have an idea of why and what are we expecting. For sure having a couple of conversations with the person who is going to be involved helps too. It also might help to think about what risks you are willing to take and if you feel safe enough to take this risks with this person.

Have you seen this article yet? http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relat ... _checklist

If not, I say give it a try and after that if you want to keep talking about it we would be more than happy to do it.

[Heather]

Because in your post I'm not actually seeing you say anything about your own desires, I also wanted to toss this piece your way, as some extra food for thought: An Immodest Proposal.