Paranoia?

[kindascared]

This is taking a ton of courage to post this but here I go.

So, a couple weeks ago my boyfriend and I were fooling around. We never had sex or anything but he did rub his penis on my vagina, all around it. He never put it in, either. He said he had no precum. And he never ejaculated before we fooled around. But I'm still afraid I could be pregnant.
Over the past few days, I've noticed I'm peeling frequently and my stomach is poking out. (This could all be in my head, but I needed a second opinion.)
I'm supposed to start my period in 9 days so I wasn't sure if these could be PMS symptoms or not.

Am I just paranoid? I need your opinion. Help!

[Karyn]

Hi, kindascared. Have you seen this piece yet? The Pregnancy Panic Companion

It's a rundown of next steps to take when you're concerned about pregnancy, and makes clear which activities pose a risk of pregnancy and which do not. Have a read through, and if you still have any questions after that, come on back.

[kindascared]

I hadn't read that one yet. That actually helps because I am paying super close attention to my body and I think that's what's stressing me out SO much. And I also turn to google searching and of course that makes me even more paranoid. So now, I'm planning to just chill for a while. No search engines, no stress. I'm pretty sure there's no way I could be pregnant. I trust my boyfriend with everything and I believe him when he says there was no precum. I think if I just relax and focus on anything else, I'll be fine.
This site actually helped an insane amount.
Thank you so much for helping!

[Karyn]

Glad to help. (To be clear, direct genital contact does pose a risk of pregnancy, but without ejaculation that risk is low. It's not always easy to tell whether or not pre-cum is present - it's not something people with penises can always feel happening - which is why we can't say that there's no risk. If you want to reduce that risk in future, having your partner wear a condom is the best way to do that. And, if you'd like to talk about methods of birth control other than condoms, happy to do that with you too.)

If you haven't seen it yet, we also have a piece on self-care strategies that might be helpful too: Self-Care a La Carte

[kindascared]

Yeah that's why i was worried about it. I've already read up on precum and the chances of pregnancy. I've literally ready dozens of articles when I was feeling really paranoid.
But he only really rubbed it on the outside of my vagina. And I'm pretty sure he peed before we did all of this. Is it still as big as a risk?

[Sam W]

Hi kindascared,

The risk is lower than it would be if ejaculate was present, but still there. So, at this point, if you're worried, your best bet is to follow the steps in the pregnancy panic companion Karyn linked to earlier. Too, you might also want to talk with your boyfriend about boundaries or steps the two of you can take in the future to help head of this kind of situation and worry for you.

[kindascared]

Yeah. I'll read it again.
We've talked about this before.
Really all I can do is just wait out the next week until my period is due. And relax until then.
Thanks for your help.

[Sam W]

That sounds like a plan
And if you need extra tools talking about yeses and nos around sex, we have a few pieces on the main site to help you out