Help with kissing related anxiety.

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singergirl97
not a newbie
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:34 pm
Age: 26
Awesomeness Quotient: Not sure
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She
Sexual identity: Straight
Location: Georgia, USA

Help with kissing related anxiety.

Unread post by singergirl97 »

Hi. I am 17 years old and have suffered from chronic anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder since I was a young child in which I take medication for but I've never fully overcome it. I've been to these message boards here on scarleteen multiple times and I love this honest, helpful site.

Not until the past year have I started kissing boys. But every time I do, I always get worried about pregnancy risks of things that technically pose no risk of pregnancy. I've even spent hundreds of dollars on plan B, and I have never even had sex before. For example, I am crazy worried right now because I kissed my boyfriend when he had an erection and it was pushed up on me near my genital area when we both were FULLY CLOTHED. It seems as if I can't get away from this anxiety because every time I even kiss my boyfriend I get worried about pregnancy. What should I do? Does anyone have any tactics for something I could do to calm this fear? Thank you in advance.
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Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9703
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Help with kissing related anxiety.

Unread post by Heather »

You say you take medication for your anxiety disorder and OCD: do you also get ongoing therapy of some kind from the healthcare provider who prescribes your medication for you? Have you discussed this manifestation of your anxiety with them and worked together for a treatment plan around it?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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singergirl97
not a newbie
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:34 pm
Age: 26
Awesomeness Quotient: Not sure
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She
Sexual identity: Straight
Location: Georgia, USA

Re: Help with kissing related anxiety.

Unread post by singergirl97 »

I have but I she says that she'll never fully get rid of my anxiety. :( I guess I just feel like I need some reassurance from my doctors. Do you think I even have a reason to worry especially with the example I'm worried about now? I guess my main fear is just that I could get pregnant somehow. I just want to stop worrying.
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Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9703
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Help with kissing related anxiety.

Unread post by Heather »

Well, that's true, but that doesn't answer my question about what you two are doing together to manage your anxiety besides medication. Like, are you asking her for help making these choices and then, if she thinks you can handle them, creating ways for you to manage your anxiety when it gets triggered?

None of the things you posted about pose any risk of pregnancy. But anxiety isn't about facts, and facts don't fix it. What helps with anxiety is treatment, and that usually means more than medication. So, again, I'm feeling a bit in the dark about what your therapist has suggested and done with you so far as a management plan goes. What you're here with is a mental health issue, not a sex ed issue, so what you need as far as help is mental health help, not sex ed.

I am also concerned about you spending hundreds of dollars on Plan B, because that suggests you have been taking it very often, which isn't a good call for your health. Emergency contraception should only be used when it is actually needed, and not as a regular habit. Is your therapist aware you have been doing that, and have you asked them for help to stop doing that?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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