I feel inadequate...

[_Adrian_]

I am a 13 year old male. I have a hyperactive libido, so I masturbate about 29 out of the 30 days of your average month, unless something prevents me from doing so. And I've noticed that when I do masturbate, I only last 1 minute 30 seconds to 2 minutes max. I've read and heard that the average male lasts around 3 minutes during intercourse, and this makes me feel like I couldn't give my partner a satisfying experience if we ever did have sex. Is there some way that I could last a little bit longer, or is this just some curse nature has screwed me over with? I don't require an answer asap, but when you have the time, could you please consider my situation and evaluate it? Thank you for your time.

[Heather]

So, I'm not sure where you're getting that term from (it's not a medical term), but do rest assured that an awful lot of people masturbate daily, and some more than once a day. That doesn't mean anything is the matter with someone, just that they like to masturbate at that frequency!

Data on how long people "last" from the start of sexual contact to orgasm is done with adults, not with young people. And we know that younger people usually have shorter timing with that, so again, no cause for concern there. Too, people will tend to reach orgasm MOST quickly with their own masturbation.

But too, how long one partner "lasts" until they orgasm usually has little to nothing to do with their partner's enjoyment of sex, unless all sex of every kind just stops because one partner feels finished for themselves, while the other doesn't feel finished at all. We also know from study that when partners with penises figure that what they need to focus on most or only focus on with partners is keeping an erection around, *that* tends to be what results in unsatisfied partners. Plus, if you're thinking about a partner with a vagina and sex that's penis-in-vagina intercourse, know that intercourse alone, no matter how long it lasts, isn't an activity that -- all by itself -- is one found to be all that satisfying for the majority of people who don't have a penis.

So, you having a body that acts like bodies tend to isn't a curse, nor something that means your partners won't enjoy themselves. You're not inadequate, and I'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way.

Some things that play the biggest part in sexual partners enjoying themselves together, and liking their sexual lives with a partner, are things like reciprocity, creativity and imagination, communication and responsiveness, acceptance and respect, confidence, a focus on just enjoying each other (rather than reaching or not reaching orgasm, or on how your body "performs") and other things that have jack to do with what you're concerned about.

Have you already spent some time on the main site looking at some of the content that talks about this? If not, I'd be happy to pick you some links to get started with.