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Being used
Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 7:10 pm
by Codisgodcx
the past few relationships I've been in have been very complicated, and sex driven. How can I stop this from happening? Other than just saying no, of course. I want to be in a relationship where sex isn't necessary.
Re: Being used
Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 8:06 pm
by Heather
Can I ask what you're saying to people you're dating about what you want before either of you initiates anything sexual?
It might also help to get a clearer picture of this pattern: who is initiating sex, and what kinds of conversations and actions are going on when they do? When you are talking about what you want, how is that going? When you are setting limits, how do you feel they're being received? What is it that has you feeling used?
Re: Being used
Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 5:19 pm
by Codisgodcx
We never really talk about sex beforehand unless they spark the conversation. And I usually tell them about how I feel on the matter; it's unnecessary for our relationship to be based around sex. Most guys don't mind this though.
Re: Being used
Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2016 6:51 am
by Sam W
Hi codisgod,
Can you describe then how you go from a situation of having set the limit or explained what you do and do not want from the relationship to a place where you feel like you're being used? Also, just so I am clear, is it that you're not interested in sex period? Or that you don't want to be in a relationship where sex is the primary focus?