Scarleteen is closed for the next two days, so that's Thursday, October 31st (for Halloween) and Friday, November 1st (for Diwali). We'll be back and able to answer your questions on Saturday. Catch you soon!

A friend came to me for some advice, but I'm kinda stuck

If it doesn't seem to fit anywhere else, this is probably the place for it.
Volleygirl22
not a newbie
Posts: 66
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2015 8:52 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: Can spike a volleyball, but am only 4'9"
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Les
Location: Illinois

A friend came to me for some advice, but I'm kinda stuck

Unread post by Volleygirl22 »

One of my best friends just texted me saying she's interested in moving into a sexual relationship with her girlfriend and asked me if I had any advice. I'm stuck. I don't know what to say, honestly. I've tried stuff like that with a girl before, but I felt like I was terrible at it. If anyone could give me some advice on what to say that would actually help her or at least point me in the right direction, I would really appreciate it :) I don't want to give her any bad advice, because she seems a little nervous about taking this step, but also seems really excited. I'm happy for her, but don't want to lead her in the wrong direction. Thanks in advance
al
not a newbie
Posts: 390
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:17 pm
Age: 31
Awesomeness Quotient: I make zines!
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Colorado

Re: A friend came to me for some advice, but I'm kinda stuck

Unread post by al »

Hi Volleygirl 22!

It's so awesome that your friend felt comfortable enough to come to you with advice, and also that you're so concerned with supporting her in the right way.
Do I understand correctly in that your friend is asking for advice about having a sexual relationship with her girlfriend? Although you may not feel like you have much to share in terms of your own experiences with girls, it may be helpful for you to talk about what your experience was like (in which I'm sure you weren't as "terrible" as you think). It may be helpful for her to just say aloud the things she's feeling concerned about or has questions about.

You could also have your friend check out this Scarleteen question and answer that talks about different types of sexual activities between women: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... a_vibrator

I think the most important thing to remember is that no one pops out of the womb knowing how they like to have sex and how to have sex with others. As individuals, our sexual preferences and sexualities are constantly growing and changing, especially as we gain more experience. Everyone is learning, and there's no shame in taking things slow, talking about it, and asking lots of questions.

Hope this helps!
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9687
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: A friend came to me for some advice, but I'm kinda stuck

Unread post by Heather »

Why not just be honest with her, rather than trying to find things from elsewhere to tell her that aren't coming from you?

After all, she asked for YOUR advice, and talking about your honest experience, including that you feel very lost yourself, has value. More, I would say, than not being honest about your own feelings and experiences and cribbing from somewhere else. :)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post