A friend came to me for some advice, but I'm kinda stuck

[Volleygirl22]

One of my best friends just texted me saying she's interested in moving into a sexual relationship with her girlfriend and asked me if I had any advice. I'm stuck. I don't know what to say, honestly. I've tried stuff like that with a girl before, but I felt like I was terrible at it. If anyone could give me some advice on what to say that would actually help her or at least point me in the right direction, I would really appreciate it I don't want to give her any bad advice, because she seems a little nervous about taking this step, but also seems really excited. I'm happy for her, but don't want to lead her in the wrong direction. Thanks in advance

[al]

Hi Volleygirl 22!

It's so awesome that your friend felt comfortable enough to come to you with advice, and also that you're so concerned with supporting her in the right way.
Do I understand correctly in that your friend is asking for advice about having a sexual relationship with her girlfriend? Although you may not feel like you have much to share in terms of your own experiences with girls, it may be helpful for you to talk about what your experience was like (in which I'm sure you weren't as "terrible" as you think). It may be helpful for her to just say aloud the things she's feeling concerned about or has questions about.

You could also have your friend check out this Scarleteen question and answer that talks about different types of sexual activities between women: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... a_vibrator

I think the most important thing to remember is that no one pops out of the womb knowing how they like to have sex and how to have sex with others. As individuals, our sexual preferences and sexualities are constantly growing and changing, especially as we gain more experience. Everyone is learning, and there's no shame in taking things slow, talking about it, and asking lots of questions.

Hope this helps!

[Heather]

Why not just be honest with her, rather than trying to find things from elsewhere to tell her that aren't coming from you?

After all, she asked for YOUR advice, and talking about your honest experience, including that you feel very lost yourself, has value. More, I would say, than not being honest about your own feelings and experiences and cribbing from somewhere else.