Is this a condom failure?

[laurabriann]

Hi everyone,
So today my boyfriend and I were having an intercourse, he was wearing a condom all the time, there was no genital to genital contact at all without a condom. I frequently checked whether if the condom was slipping any time, during the intercourse, and it wasn't. We are backing up condom with withdrawal, he always holds the base of the condom before he withdraws. However, today, right after the withdrawal, I realised that the condom was slipped a bit, like 3 cm. I checked whether if any of the semen leaked, apparently it didn't. I also read the threads which were similar to our case and I believe that the pregnancy risk here is not that high, since the condom did not entirely slip off and it wasn't inside my vagina and there wasn't any ejaculation that spilled. I asked him if he ejaculated before he withdrew, yet he assured me by saying that he ejaculated after he pulled out, and he is pretty sure that the condom didn't slip any time during the intercourse, which I agree with him. I did not want to take the Plan B, since it really messes my cycle up, and I don't think there is a real risk in here. However, I didn't quite get if this situation is considered as a condom failure or not, since the condom didn't slip entirely off and the semen was not leaking. Should I consider this as a condom failure and take Plan B? Is pregnancy risk minimal in this case?
Thank you.

[Redskies]

It's sounding like the condom was still on the penis, and was just slipped down a small amount? If that's correct, then the condom here should have done its job, and I'm not seeing a particular need for EC. Taking EC or not is of course up to you, and you're the person who was there and knows best what actually happened.

Condoms can move a little during use, and that's okay and part of proper use. If you're not sure, you can have a look at Condom Basics: A User's Manual, and perhaps your boyfriend might like to double-check that he's using the right size condoms for him. Condom slippages are only a problem if they slip completely off, partly off or most of the way down the penis.

"Condom failure" technically means that the person actually became pregnant (eg, the contraception method didn't work!). Here, you're probably asking about whether this was correct usage, and it does sound like what you both did was within proper usage.

[laurabriann]

Thank you for the reply!
I am not sure if it was just a little amount of slippage, it slipped like 3 or 4 cm, the tip of the penis was definitely inside the condom. And also, I don't remember if I mentioned, but it slipped right after the withdrawal, therefore, the bare part (the upper part of the penis) was definitely not in touch with my genitals. If it was slipped during the intercourse and the base of the condom got inside of me, it would slip entirely off when he withdrew, right? Therefore, I really don't think that it slipped during the intercourse. We also checked once in a minute whether the condom was slipped or not, and we were fine. My boyfriend is sure that he did not ejaculate before he pulled off, he is saying that as soon as he realised that he was going to ejaculate, he pulled off. I was not wet at all after he pulled off, if any semen were to spill, I would feel it right? What I am sure about is that he didn't ejaculate inside me, a bit more than half of his penis was inside the condom after the slippage, there was no semen spilling. So, there is still no need for EC, right?

[Redskies]

Again, personally, I'm not seeing a need for EC.

If your boyfriend was holding onto the base like you said he does when he withdrew, he'd have been able to feel where the base was around his penis, and can answer your questions about the condom's position while you were both having intercourse. Does he (or you) keep holding the base of the condom on the penis while he withdraws? That's a thing you two need to be doing in order to use condoms correctly.

If a condom moves or even comes off completely after withdrawal, that's not a problem, because by that point the penis is away from your genitals.

For the future for you both, withdrawal as a method is best used in plenty of time before the person with a penis ejaculates. That helps prevent mistakes like not withdrawing in time, and also would give you a clear window for certainty and peace of mind in situations like this

[laurabriann]

Oh, he says he doesn't remember if he held the base of the condom during the withdrawal, however, he probably did because otherwise it would be entirely slipped off. What I understand from what you are telling me is that, it shouldn't be a problem unless the condom is entirely slipped of during the intercourse or the vulva is exposed to any semen due this, is this right?

[Redskies]

If the condom was still on the penis at the end of intercourse, it should have done its job, yes. But obviously, I wasn't there, so I can't give you a 100% definitive answer about what was what.

He - or you - does need to hold the condom on the penis while he withdraws, every time, because that's needed for proper condom use. Without doing that, like you said, there's a chance the condom can come off in the vagina, and that's a lot of extra hassle to deal with just for not holding a condom on!

[laurabriann]

Alright, thank you for your answers. We will certainly be more careful next time