REALLY need help/advice with a "break" in my relationship. (long)
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 9:50 pm
Hi This will be a little long but I want to give as much information as I can to get an accurate answer. Please bare with me. I also just posted this in the other forum for everyone but I want some professional answers too.
My "boyfriend" and I have dated for almost 3 months and we'll both be 16 in September.
I thought everything was perfect which is why this is hard for me to take, not to mention it's my FIRST time going through something like this. I've had 2 past boyfriends but I was never really into them like I'm into this guy...
Last Saturday, he told me he was having weird thoughts about us, but the "break" officially started yesterday. He told me that although he still cares about me and doesn't want to break up completely, he wasn't ready for a commitment and that he felt like our relationship was moving too fast and he was feeling weird and it wasn't how it used to be, so he wanted to take some time to figure himself out. I want this to work so I accepted and decided to go on this break with him. He said to give him a week into school and we'll see what happens next when that time comes.
We haven't been talking much during this time and that worries me. I miss him (this was his idea, not mine.) and I would like to make sure he's making progress with this but I can't if we're not talking. I'm giving him the space and time he asked for so I'm not messaging him first. Prior to Saturday though, we had only been texting but we hadn't seen each other in person for a while when usually we'd see each other almost every day. The fact that this started in a period that we'd only been texting and now we're not talking at all scares me. It makes me feel like it's only making things worse. He hasn't even been liking any of my posts on Instagram but I know he's on and posting and stuff (I know it sounds really petty but little things have always sparked my mind.) School for us starts on this Monday and we have a few classes AND the same bus stop so I know we're bound to talk soon but we're not at that time yet. It scares me because I don't know where he's at with this and if he's progressing or not. He says he wants it to work but he's not making any effort with me if that makes sense, but I know he also wanted some "space" and "time". We don't have to talk all day but I just want a little check in...
I'm trying to use this time to prepare myself for if he chose not to continue with the relationship but it's hard when I keep going back to thinking about those things that he told me because I do still want to have hope that he'll want to continue and I do too but I want to try to get over him at least a little because if we're not talking how am I gonna know which I should do?
I think that's about most of it... if there's any further information needed or wanted I'd be glad to give it out. But I just need help and advice. What if I lose all my hope but then he does want to continue? What if I keep all my hope but then he wants to break it off? What should I do if he does choose to break it off? How can I keep my mind off things? Is it possible to try to get over someone but still keep feelings around at the same time? If so, how? How could I let him know I'd like to talk with him without bothering his time? Could this break actually help us if he does choose to continue? How can I stop little things from triggering me into thinking negatively like with the Instagram post? I have so many questions but these are all I can think of right now You don't have to answer them all but I just need as much specific advice and help I can get right now. Like I said this is my first time going through this and I'm not sure what to do.
Thanks for all your help with this situation! xoxo (: ~ ax
My "boyfriend" and I have dated for almost 3 months and we'll both be 16 in September.
I thought everything was perfect which is why this is hard for me to take, not to mention it's my FIRST time going through something like this. I've had 2 past boyfriends but I was never really into them like I'm into this guy...
Last Saturday, he told me he was having weird thoughts about us, but the "break" officially started yesterday. He told me that although he still cares about me and doesn't want to break up completely, he wasn't ready for a commitment and that he felt like our relationship was moving too fast and he was feeling weird and it wasn't how it used to be, so he wanted to take some time to figure himself out. I want this to work so I accepted and decided to go on this break with him. He said to give him a week into school and we'll see what happens next when that time comes.
We haven't been talking much during this time and that worries me. I miss him (this was his idea, not mine.) and I would like to make sure he's making progress with this but I can't if we're not talking. I'm giving him the space and time he asked for so I'm not messaging him first. Prior to Saturday though, we had only been texting but we hadn't seen each other in person for a while when usually we'd see each other almost every day. The fact that this started in a period that we'd only been texting and now we're not talking at all scares me. It makes me feel like it's only making things worse. He hasn't even been liking any of my posts on Instagram but I know he's on and posting and stuff (I know it sounds really petty but little things have always sparked my mind.) School for us starts on this Monday and we have a few classes AND the same bus stop so I know we're bound to talk soon but we're not at that time yet. It scares me because I don't know where he's at with this and if he's progressing or not. He says he wants it to work but he's not making any effort with me if that makes sense, but I know he also wanted some "space" and "time". We don't have to talk all day but I just want a little check in...
I'm trying to use this time to prepare myself for if he chose not to continue with the relationship but it's hard when I keep going back to thinking about those things that he told me because I do still want to have hope that he'll want to continue and I do too but I want to try to get over him at least a little because if we're not talking how am I gonna know which I should do?
I think that's about most of it... if there's any further information needed or wanted I'd be glad to give it out. But I just need help and advice. What if I lose all my hope but then he does want to continue? What if I keep all my hope but then he wants to break it off? What should I do if he does choose to break it off? How can I keep my mind off things? Is it possible to try to get over someone but still keep feelings around at the same time? If so, how? How could I let him know I'd like to talk with him without bothering his time? Could this break actually help us if he does choose to continue? How can I stop little things from triggering me into thinking negatively like with the Instagram post? I have so many questions but these are all I can think of right now You don't have to answer them all but I just need as much specific advice and help I can get right now. Like I said this is my first time going through this and I'm not sure what to do.
Thanks for all your help with this situation! xoxo (: ~ ax