Orgasms and relationships

[Peetah92]

Me and my gf have been dating for 3 months and i only made her orgasm twice, we have had sex about 25 times already. We have talked about this and I dragged it out of her and she said that her and her ex lovers made her orgasm about half the times they had sex. She says the sex is enjoyable but can be more enjoyable. She said she really likes me and I am not sure if its her trying to spare my feelings or if she is really enjoying it. She says she does and sometimes her body language says she does (leg shaking, heavy breathing, moaning, heavy gripping) but when she is close to finishing I interupt her rhythm when shes on top and that brings her build up down. In short, my question is A) how can I be the perfect lover when shes on top (which she loves to do) and should I really be so torn up and feeling inadequate about this? I also seem to get a tad bit softer when shes on top for too long? I am use to being on top and my exes preferred it that way.

[Karyn]

No one can be perfect, at anything: not at sex, not at anything else. All you can do is communicate with your partner, be honest with each other, and experiment to figure out how your unique bodies can work together in a way that's enjoyable for both of you.

Too, nobody can make orgasm happen. It isn't something that is ever guaranteed, although over time most people tend to figure out what makes orgasm more likely to happen for them, so you don't need to feel like you're doing something wrong or there's something wrong with you for not being able to make your partner have an orgasm: that's not the way it works.

We have a couple of articles on the main site that I think might be useful for you to read:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
What Makes Someone Good in Bed?

I would also suggest that you and your girlfriend go through this list together (or separately and then come together to talk about the answers) so that you have a better idea of what each of you finds enjoyable or might like to try:
Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist