Losing my virginity for the first time...

[Scarrrx]

So before ever having sex I've always the term 'pop the cherry' or something along them lines meaning you will bleed a bit when u lose ur virginity, however when I had sex for the first time I didn't see no blood on his penis or anything? Is there others way my 'cherry' can be popped? however when a few hours later the day I lost my virginity, I did find 'spotting' on my panties, or whatever u want to call it - literally a tiny bit of blood on my panties, I'm just confused? He has erm fingered me before, but no blood was to be seen? I'm confused as always lol x

[Onionpie]

Hi Scarrrx! Usually the term "popping the cherry" is used to refer to the hymen/corona. However, the concept that one's hymen will break with first intercourse is a myth. It is a thin membrane that typically erodes away over time from hormones, and if there is any left by the time someone has intercourse, it is stretchy enough that it won't tear. Typically, blood with first intercourse is actually from small tears in the wall of the vagina, which can be caused by the person not being aroused enough. So, the fact that you bled (and yes, when that happens it is usually a very tiny amount) was a sign that you weren't aroused enough.

We have lots of info on our website if you want to find out more:
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse
My Corona: The Anatomy Formerly Known as the Hymen & the Myths That Surround It
Magical Cups & Bloody Brides: Virginity in Context

Hope that helps!

[Scarrrx]

Hey oh and thank you! I was also wondering can a girl 'cum' during intercourse or after? Like once my boyf pulled out and saw 'white stuff' on his p*nis and was like 'did I just make you cum' and I was like erm I think so...just wondering what that was? I was really aroused that time too.
Kind regards xx

[Onionpie]

No problem! There are a couple of different things people may be referring to when they say "come." Firstly, it could be referring to orgasming -- in which case, it's totally possible to orgasm with first intercourse, as it is with any. However, people with vaginas will usually need stimulus other than just PIV intercourse. Somewhere around 75% of women don't (and will never) orgasm from intercourse alone. So, to reach orgasm during intercourse, there usually has to be other things going on too!

The second thing that can be referred to as "coming" is "female" ejaculation, which doesn't always happen with orgasm. Some women/people with vaginas find that they ejaculate fairly frequently, and some never experience it, it all just depends on the person. "Female" ejaculate is clear, though, so the "white stuff" likely wasn't that, but something else. During different times in one's cycles, vaginal lubrication and discharge can vary in texture and colour, so it may have been that. It's really not possible for us to know for sure though, since we weren't there!

For more on female ejaculation, check this out:
Squirt: On Ejaculation

For more on orgasm, read this:
Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

[Scarrrx]

Oh okay I understand now!
Thank you x