Lack of sexual condfidence

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LovelyLola
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Age: 24
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Sexual identity: Straight
Location: UK

Lack of sexual condfidence

Unread post by LovelyLola »

So,
I'm at the legal age for sex in the UK. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half already and we both agreed on doing it.
However, it was around a month ago when it happened, and he truthfully opened up to me very recently and told me that the experience was not pleasurable on his behalf, which is quite disappointing really because I enjoyed it.
I asked why, and he said i'm very loose down there, which has put me in a place where i'm feeling uncomfortable about doing it again in future.

Is there even anyway I can become a little bit tighter?!
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Lack of sexual condfidence

Unread post by Heather »

I'm so sorry you had this experience. I'm also sorry that it sounds like your boyfriend isn't very educated about your anatomy (hint: there's really no such thing as "loose down there"), and on top of THAT, obviously was pretty clueless about the impacts of statements like this on someone.

So, what I'd like to do is first start by just filling you in some about how this whole tight/loose set of ideas is mostly myth, just so you can let go some of the feelings what he said gave you, and be educated about your own body parts. Then we can talk about how to talk about this with him. That sound okay?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9637
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Lack of sexual condfidence

Unread post by Heather »

Just checking in with you again. :)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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