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What is your ideal relationship set up?

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

What is your ideal relationship set up?

Unread post by Sam W »

The ideal relationship structure looks different for different people. Some prefer more casual relationships, some people are poly, some people prefer monogamy, etc. Still, the types of relationships we see portrayed in media and elsewhere are often narrowly defined. So, I wanted to make a space where people are free to share the type of relationship set-up that they prefer.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Jacob
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2014 3:33 am
Age: 35
Primary language: English
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Location: Leeds UK

Re: What is your ideal relationship set up?

Unread post by Jacob »

I think recently i just realised that I wanna be solo poly. So mostly I can just focus on friendships and community, and even though I enjoy sex, I don't really want it to cement me as being in a couple with someone. That takes communication though to make sure the other person/people want the same thing. I especially enjoy other people's independence and the idea that they don't need me.

I do love having housemates though! Being able to share a place with someone is a really special type of intimacy for me, even though it's non-sexual.
"In between two tall mountains there's a place they call lonesome.
Don't see why they call it lonesome.
I'm never lonesome when I go there." Connie Converse - Talkin' Like You
Lyssa
not a newbie
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Sexual identity: Straight
Location: Tennessee

Re: What is your ideal relationship set up?

Unread post by Lyssa »

I totally enjoy more casual relationships! I travel consistently from home or to school almost ever 6 months so it depends on where I fall in that 6 month period on how much time I'm willing to spend with people and how much effort I'm putting forth to see or talk to the person or persons.

When I'm home at the end of that 6 month period, I like to keep my phone off and limit my internet presence so that I can rejuvenate during that time; so I'm not open to starting a new relationship or having consistent communication with people (Read: me time). I don't want anyone to be hurt when I do this which is one of the reasons why I like to keep the relationship more casual to begin with.

When I'm away at school though, I am more open to on go on dates, be on the phone with people, etc. The casual model frees up my time so much more than when I was in more serious, monogamous relationships, but still allows me to meet new people and make connections with people, which I love.
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