My boyfriend and I can't have sex

[Sca7313]

The thing is that we have tried to have sex about 2 or 3 times (we both are virgins) but every time that we try to do it he can't get inside of me and loses his erection
I don't know why it happens but it's really frustrating for him since he thinks that it's his fault.
So I will be really grateful if you help me with this!

[Jacob]

Hi Sca! Welcome to Scarleteen...

Firstly this is very common! We have had similar questions in the past, this is a good one: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... ntercourse

It sounds like you're a little more in tune with your boyfriend and get that it's a bit of a problem that 'he thinks that it's his fault'. So that's a really positive start! It's not his 'fault' and it's not even a problem. Our bodies often react to how we feel. While men and boys are often under pressure to act confident, something like losing an erection can be a result of feeling nervous and not-so-comfortable with the intercourse that is about to happen. Often if we do anything new there can be a few attempts until we feel fully ready, so that could contribute. This can also be a good lesson in exploring what works for you guys when erections aren't constant. Which they often aren't, in many relationships and situations.

I don't know what his take on this is, but if he is putting pressure on himself to get an erection and between you you are making it a goal, it is likely to continue being difficult... if it can be something you work around and remove that pressure, then you're going to have more fun either way.