Sex when your whole freaking world is terrifying

[Heather]

Because we serve young people internationally, some of you are posting from areas or parts of the world which are in extreme crisis right now, and where you're literally surrounded by violence, war or fear.

That alone is obviously incredibly stressful. That alone would obviously create anxiety, panic or depression for most people, to at least some degree.

When we're living through rough times or in rough places, wanted, connected sex with others can obviously actually be a very bright spot in our lives. It can give us something that just feels normal, and lets us forget how hard and scary everything is. It can let us feel close and cared for when we are in distress or pain.

At the same time, sex does also bring some stresses with it, so things about sex that might already feel unsure or a little scary can feel SUPER-scary. And if part of the deal in the area or community where you live is also that it is very restrictive around sex or some kinds of sex -- like sex outside marriage, or sex if you're queer, where something like that can earnestly result in abuse a culture condones or can't stop, homelessness or a lack of reproductive options -- it's already even more scary and iffy.

So, what do you do? Do you step away from sex to unload the stress, or do you go for it, knowing it also gives you relief and care?

There's no right answer to this, of course. Only your own choices and decisions, made as best you can based on what you know or think is best for you at the time.

I'm not putting this here to open a debate or discussion about what the "right" choice: again, there really isn't one. Just like most sexual choices, there's only going to be what any one person, and their partner(s), feels is best and right for them.

I'm putting this here for a few reasons:
• One, if you're someone in that spot, how can we best support and help you? Obviously, we all, sadly, lack the power or ability to wave a World Peace wand and just fix some of the awful things that go down in the world, or end major world crises. But that aside, what can we do for you, beyond just making some extra room and care, which anyone living in crisis deserves?

• How has making these decisions gone for you? If there's any extra help you feel like you could get in making them you're not, what do you think that is?

• A little perspective. I'm putting this here to also give everyone a little perspective. Because we do sometimes also hear from people leaving in relatively peaceful times -- and VERY safe. peaceful times by comparison to where others are living -- and who truly are NOT living in areas where they may be risking their lives to be sexual, or may have to go without healthcare they need because their whole nation is in dire crisis. People who will sometimes talk like they are living in those situations or places, but who so are not. That's not a "shame on you," it's more about just taking a few minutes to just get that perspective, and get a better sense of your own reality, so you can be sure that when you are earnestly safe -- or aren't but could be, as there are safe places in your world to go -- and do have helps and resources you can use to help yourself, stay well and empower yourself, you're taking advantage (in the good way) of that situation.