About the "pregnancy scared?" Article

[Angeldelight123]

Hi there,
I read up on the article the scenarios that WOULD pose a pregnancy risk, and it said if there direct contact with ejaculation and the vulva, or ejaculation very near the vaginal area, how close is near?
I'm just wondering because my boyfriend ejaculated on my stomach, just were my public hairs start so like just below my belly button, would that be close enough to pose a pregnancy risk? No intercourse was involved whatsoever! My hand was covering my vulva until everything was cleaned up anyways. This is NOT a pregnancy scare question, it's just so I know for future reference because this is one thing my boyfriend enjoys doing during sexual activity.

P.s I'm also on the pill and any time we do have intercourse we use condoms every time!

[Sam W]

Hi Angeldelight,

On your stomach would not really count as as near the vulva. That being said, without being in the room and seeing what happened, it can be hard to give an exact definition of what counts as "near" enough to be a risk.

[Angeldelight123]

Thank you for the reply!
My hand was covering my whole genital area anyway until it was cleaned up, so the semen did not go past my hand I know that for a fact, which was around just below my belly button, is that okay? I guess I'm just a bit paranoid, I have really high doubts and I am so positive it didn't go near there! I guess we all have our worries I suppose.

[Karyn]

As Sam said, we weren't there, so this is something you need to judge on your own. It does sound like you have a fair bit of worry around pregnancy risks, though: is that something you'd like to talk more about how to manage?

[Angeldelight123]

Hi there Karyn,

I do try to minimise my pregnancy risks as much as possible, I take the pill religiously and use condoms every time I have intercourse, but I do sometimes have worries incase I was at risk of pregnancy or not, even though the chances could be minuscule. I am at therapy just now for anxiety issues, but I really enjoy sex and sexual activity so I don't want my anxiety getting in the way as it makes me feel close to my boyfriend.

I do try to be as careful as possible, which is why I was concerned incase the semen on my stomach was too close to my area for comfort, but in all honesty deep down I do know that it was nothing to worry about but my anxiety tends to try and change that perspective. That's why I'm asking all these questions just to look for a second opinion if it's worth the worry or not.
Thank you for you're guys' advice is it really appreciated

[Karyn]

It's great you're in therapy for anxiety! Have you ever mentioned your concerns about pregnancy to your therapist, and talked about ways to manage those fears?

I would also say too that sometimes, even if we enjoy something, that doesn't mean it's a good idea for us to engage in it. For example, my partner loves eating prawns, but he has a severe allergy to them, and eating them makes him really sick. It's one of those situations where the enjoyment isn't worth the yuck that comes after, and the same thing can be true of sex: even if you enjoy it in the moment, sometimes that enjoyment doesn't outweigh the anxiety and worry, and taking a break from the kinds of sex that are causing that worry is the best move for your overall wellbeing. (The good news is that once you're feeling more in control of your anxiety and have learned ways to deal with it, you'll probably be able to have a sex life that's even more enjoyable - it's not like you have to stop having sex forever, unlike my partner who will never be able to eat shellfish!)

One more thing to think about is that there are a lot of ways to create intimacy with a partner that don't involve sex. We have a piece on that very topic right here that might be worth a read for you: Intimacy: The Whys, Hows, How-Nots, and So-Nots

[Angeldelight123]

Thank you Karyn! You have really made me feel a lot better, I'll have a little chat with my boyfriend about maybe trying other things rather than just sex. Thank you again

[Karyn]

You're welcome.