bi and happy, but feeling paradoxically left out?

[bikinksterboy]

I'm fairly well off emotionally, and happen to be bisexual, but as I often frequent these boards and other queer-friendly communities I also get the strange self-pitying and probably not healthy feeling of being almost an outsider, as I see so many queer people dealing with problems in their life and even though i can sympathize and in some cases empathize I can't say "yeah I've been there before" and that makes me feel almost like I'm not "really" bi. idk this might just be incoherent rambling

[Jacob]

Hi!

So I'd say I have a couple of ways to look at this.

Way number one: Feeling left out, is such a bi/queer/minority experience. And while many groups are grappling with the aftershocks of those feelings in mainstream society that sadly doesn't make us immune to those feelings in our spaces. In my experience, the people who feel the most 'at-home'? - in any space, including ones definitely not made for them? - That would tend to be certain people in the white/straight/normative majority... So I wouldn't take your self-doubt as super unhealthy... it could just be part of what it is to know you are bi and trying to navigate what sort of role you can play.

Way number two: I think I have experienced many online spaces that way. Even when we had our lovely scarleteen staff meet up, a few of us confessed that we thought the 'real' us wouldn't get on, compared to our online selves. This proved to just be a lump of imposter syndrome because we got on like a house on fire. It definitely points to the value of having community in-person. So maybe find out if there are spaces near you?

Also not feeling like you've had major trauma is a pretty good problem to have. This might put you in a position to be really helpful to those who might struggle to organise queer community. So if you can use that degree of confidence to help other people feel more included that can be really powerful.