Low to No sexual drive

[bacchanamit]

Hi,

I have been married for around last 4 years. And I have a very high sex drive. However, my wife has too low or almost no sex drive. We are having a very bad sexual relationship due to this mismatching hunger for sex. I can have sex for everyday and love to take things slow. I can have foreplay for hours before having sex. In opposed to that, for her, weekly once is more than enough and she just want to have intercouse and done. She says she loves foreplay too .. but when I try to have it .. she autonatically pushes to have intercourse and wants to finish off in 5-10 mins. If it goes beyond 15 mins .. she looses all interest in the act and it becomes all mechanical act. And it gets too wierd and I also loose all interest. I really dont know how we can solve our problem. We love each other a lot, but this problem is ruining our relationship. Pls help us!

[Heather]

Hey there, bacchanamit.

Just so you're aware moving forward, Scarleteen's services are intended for those in their teens and twenties, so if and when other users in that age group are here using those services, staff will answer them before you.

I have a few questions before I feel like I can help you well with this:
• Was there always this kind of difference in your relationship, or were things different at the start? For instance, did either of you have more or less sexual desire when you were first together? If so, when did that change?
• How is the rest of your relationship? has anything major changed there?
• How about your partner's relationship with her body or her own sexuality? Has anything created changes with her feelings about those, like, for instance, pregnancy or parenting?
• What does she say when you talk about this together?
• Lastly, what is your sexual negotiation process like? Do you two ever talk in advance about what you want sexually, rather than only once you've started sexual activities?