Fetish, but not sexual

[PathOfARiver]

This is very embarrassing and I've never told anyone. I have sexual feelings about people vomiting. I've had them since I was really little-- I remember mentioning a friend when I was maybe six, "you know that funny feeling in your vagina when someone throws up?" It's also pretty much the only thing I think about when I masturbate. But I never think about it in sexual situations, and I don't even like to-- I tried watching some vomit porn to see and it just grosses me out-- so I have no desire to have a partner thrown up during sex or anything. I've had one real boyfriend, and felt kind of neutral about everything we did, but I also didn't like him that much so it might be just that. But what am I supposed to do if the only thing that really turns me on is non-sexual?

[Heather]

No need to feel embarrassed or ashamed here. Sex and sexuality are frequently weird or unusual, and can often include things that create those feelings that seem like they shouldn't.

I'd suggest you find more things than just that one thing. And I'd say that no matter what the one thing was. One turn-on alone, in the field of potentially billions and billions of possible things, is a really tiny tether for such a potentially big thing as your sexuality, you know? Especially since it sounds like this thing is a thing that works for you solo, but not so much when there's someone else in the picture.

Truly, I'd just start paying more attention to all the various things that pique your interest, and keep your observational eye and feels open for things that you feel drawn to, that arouse your interest, if nothing else, that maybe just incline you, even a little to think or feel any number of ways that engage your sexual self. If you really think about this one particular thing, you might even be able to identify broader aspects of it that thread through other things, and then lead you to discoveries about other things that turn you on, too.

Chances are, this really isn't anything close to the only thing, you just need some more time and exploration to find some more things -- and that can literally be everything from sights to sounds to smells to words to who someone is to how they look to how their skin feels or tastes or a memory... you get the picture -- that arouse you. And more times than not, a lot of what turns people on isn't, when it's not turning someone on, something we'd tend to classify as "sexual." Ultimately, what makes something sexual or not is individual, not universal, and is just about if any given thing is experienced as sexual by a person.

Make sense?

[PathOfARiver]

I guess so. I'm just afraid that the only way I'll ever be able to have an orgasm will be thinking about people getting sick in random places. I've kind of tried to make it work with other things and so far haven't succeeded, but I'll keep working on it i guess

[Heather]

You didn't sound very satisfied with that answer (and if so, that's okay!). If I'm right in that, want to tell me a bit more, like what you've been doing so far in life to kind of open yourself up to other ways of getting turned on or experiencing orgasm, particularly with partners, since that seems to be your primary concern?