My boyfriend can’t orgasm from sexual intercourse

[uk2usa365]

Hi, I’m a 17 year old (girl) and my boyfriend is 16. We had sex for the first time last month after being together for 2 years. I know there are several questions similar to this on these pages but our situation is a bit different. My boyfriend has never been able to get off from masterbation and it took us nearly a full year to have him ejaculate from blow jobs. He has no issue getting or staying hard and I am the only girl he has ever been with and vice versa, he’s the only boy I’ve ever done anything with but he can’t get off from vaginal sex. I was wondering if this could be because of his age? He is a year and a half younger than me and I thought it could simply be that he hadn’t completely matured in that area maybe? Please anything would help! It’s not because he masturbates too much because I’ve even had him try to masturbate on his own in bed to finish off and he can’t. I don’t mind but he is super self conscious about it!

[Alice O]

Hey there,

The first thing I'm wondering is: has you boyfriend expressed dissatisfaction with the fact that he's not orgasming? Or is primarily something that is bothering you?

It's important to remember that, though there is a lot of messaging in our world that says that orgasm is the end goal of sex, it isn't! There are so many other reasons people have sex--pleasure, intimacy, just to name a few. So aside from orgasm, I am wondering: are you finding sex with your boyfriend pleasurable? Have you two communicated about what he is or is not finding pleasurable?

Pleasure is really important in and of itself, but in addition, focusing on pleasure rather than orgasm can also lower the pressure! It is really hard for a lot of people to orgasm when they feel pressure, whether from themself, their partner, or both.

I also just want to clear up that orgasming would not have to do with him not having matured enough. You asked about that, as well as mentioning your age difference a few times, and I am wondering: does the difference in age feel like a big part of your relationship? Can you tell me more about what that is like?