Crushing (hard)

[thewrit3r]

So I’ve been at my new college for a while but I recently realized I have this MAJOR crush on this staff member. I know there’s no relationship allowed between staff and student, so I’m not going to ask him out or anything like that. But my feelings are stubborn I’ve never majorly crushed on a guy back in grade school, so this is all new to me. The thing is, I like this guy as a friend, too, and would like to get to know him better in that regard. But I freeze up every time I see him! I can’t even look at him without blushing. We have spoken before but nothing beyond the usual small talk. How do I get myself to talk to him?

[Mo]

It sounds like you need to be patient with yourself! It's ok to get to know someone slowly. It sounds like you've spoken a little bit before now, so I don't think you need to push yourself really hard here; maybe try to initiate a small conversation every couple of times that you interact and see if it feels easier over time.
One thing I like about crushes is that they can be fun even if and when you know you aren't going to pursue the other person or tell them about your feelings. It can still be enjoyable to have a person in your life you get excited and fluttery feelings about whenever you interact!

[thewrit3r]

True, I guess I just feel like I keep finding excuses not to talk to him because I’m so nervous. I have things to say to him, I just feel like I can’t which is sort of frustrating. I mean when I actually talk to him it’s easier, but it’s still difficult haha. But I’m sure it will get easier in time (at least I hope it will ).

And it is exciting, it’s just a new feeling for me so I’m not used to it. But I like the way I feel and I don’t like the way I feel because I feel uncomfortable. Does that make sense?

[Alice O]

Totally makes sense! When I have a new crush I alternate between being like "THIS FEELING IS THE BEST" and "THIS FEELING IS THE WORST." So I'm right there with ya the writ3r

[thewrit3r]

Haha it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one and it can happen to anyone regardless of age. I finally managed to speak to him this week even though it was just small talk but it was better than nothing I’m sure it’ll get easier in time.

Thanks for responding. I know my question wasn’t super serious or anything but I appreciate the response

[Mo]

We're not only here to talk about the most serious questions! Crushes are important to talk about too (and I mean that completely sincerely). I'm glad you had a chance to talk with him this week! I bet you're right that it'll get easier with time and practice.