Anal stimulation. Help.

[Andy3345]

I’m a straight teenage boy who likes anal. But I feel like other people get more pleasure from it than me. Like people can cum JUST from fingering and I really want that. I want it to feel that good. It does feel good just not THAT good. Like sometimes I have to resort to jacking off while I do it just to feel it more. But then it is like too much and cum super fast. Idk if it’s my approach or something? Do I have to like use more than just one so it feel more like a penis? What could I do to make anal feel better for me?

[Heather]

How *any* sexual activity feels for someone, and how any given person responds (which isn't always the same from day to day or experience to experience) to a sexual activity varies. Sometimes we can change how things feel or how we respond, other times, we can't.

If you want to explore this kind of activity and find out what makes it more enjoyable for you, it's just something where you'll need to do some experimenting. For instance, if you want to see how it feels for you to use more than one finger, you'll need to try that to find out. We can't predict how things will feel for you or direct you to do things when you're the only one who knows your own body. So long as you keep basic anal play safety in mind -- always start very gentle and slow, be sure to always use plenty of lubricant, and if you're inserting anything into your anus that isn't fingers, be sure it has a flared base and no sharp edges -- it's okay, as it is with any other body part, to explore.

Too, though, it can actually be a buzzkill to get caught up in trying to make yourself orgasm or make yourself react to things in ways you see or think (like, if what you are seeing is porn, know people's reactions tend to be amped up for effect) others are experiencing things. Better to just go with your own flow and see what happens for you, as the unique person you are.

[Andy3345]

What do you mean by go with the flow?

[Andy3345]

I’m trying to take your advice but it isn’t working. Do I have to have a boner for it to feel good? Maybe my anus has to be looser? How do I relax it more and “go with the flow” Im a newbie to all of this but I feel the potential. Is there anything you can recommend me do? not that it will necesarily work but just to try something new... thanks again. I really appreciate this...

[Andy3345]

Also, I sent a text message but I have yet to hear a response. All I have written is some thing like “is thise the scarlet teen number?” And “Andy”. If you see it I’d love to continue this on here so it could be a tad more private but if not I understand.

[Jacob]

Hi Andy!

I don't know when you sent that message... we do get similar messages pretty regularly and do reply, so I don't know what happened there. Did you use (206) 866-2279?

That said, we don't really use our text service for in-depth conversations. It's more just for quick answers and links to resources.

Anyway, with the anal stimulation to orgasm stuff. My interpretation of Heather's answer wasn't that if you 'go with the flow' that you would suddenly be able to orgasm the exact way you want to but that 'go with your flow' means to explore your own pleasure instead of taking that goal-oriented approach. You may discover that how you touch your body changes over time, and some methods might be nicer than others, but you can't direct the outcome like that. What we and our bodies actually enjoy and how we enjoy it is way more random. We don't really deliberatley create ways to experience pleasure, it's more like we discover them.

[Andy3345]

That’s the thing. I don’t know how to go about discovering them. I feel like I have done tried all the tricks in the book. I mean I know I haven’t but it feels that way. I understand you can’t direct me to a specific outcome but can you lead me in the general direction? I don’t even know where to start looking.

[Heather]

Well, if you have basically explored your own body -- and also the different kinds of headspaces you can be in it, including your own fantasy in your head at the time, for example -- as much as you feel like you possibly can so far, it may be that how you feel is how this feels for you. It might be that your idea of what to expect is unrealistic, or isn't realistic for how this feels for you. It might be that while this is something that you like, but sends other people over the freaking moon, maybe you're not actually one of those people.

On the other hand, exploring anything sexually as much as we possibly can pretty much isn't ever something we can do in just a few days, weeks, months or often even years. It's not like you have been trying this out for decades, after all. So, if might also be that you have to accept that this, like anything else sexual, is a process and not something where you might get a kind of immediate gratification you're looking for or expecting.

That all said, there are a lot more extensive resources on this area of sexual activity and exploration than there used to be, so if you'd like some book suggestions (sometimes libraries even have some of these), I'd be glad to toss a few titles your way to look into.

[Andy3345]

Are there any videos titles of instructional anal matsrubation or soemthing? I can only find video of people mastrubating but not like a guide. It there is a guide it could be helpful is discovering something that I am maybe not doing. I mean, I only know what I know from articles and stuff... I still have yet to find physical proof that I am doing it correctly.

[Heather]

You are your own physical "proof." This isn't about someone else's body, it's about yours. So, only you can know what feels good and doesn't, and only you can know what's "right" or "wrong" when it comes to what feels good for you. Videos or books can't give you that.

Explicit videos that provide sexual instruction almost always are made for legal adults, so we don't have video references to make here, as we primarily serve young people, and make what we share things that young people most often can access. Again, I can suggest some books, but other than that, that's about it, and it sounds like -- since you seem to suggest you already have taken in a lot of information about this -- this is mostly just about you exploring yourself and perhaps also reality-checking your expectations.