Something Missing

[FantaOrange]

So I've heard of the clitoris and everything, and I know what it does and what it's supposed to feel and look like, but I can't seem to find it. I've looked with a mirror, and there's nothing there that looks remotely like the pictures I've seen; then the hood just doesn't have anything under it or in it (that is if it's supposed be in it). I've felt for it, and nothing down there feels like a bump. I feel something of course regarding pleasure, but it's more like a hint of it. I've read they can be small, but so small that you can't see or feel it? This just has me worried that I'll never experience an orgasm through any means, or I'll have to get some sort of surgery if that exists. I've never been to a gynecologist, and I'm scared to ask my mom if I can, especially since I've been pretty adamant about never seeing one. It'll definitely be weird to suddenly bring up.

[Sam W]

Hi FantaOrange,

It's possible that your clit is on the smaller end so it's not particularly pronounced when you're looking at it. It's also important to keep in mind that much of the clitoris is internal (so even if it doesn't look like much from the outside it's definitely there), and that it becomes erect when someone is sexually aroused which ends up making it look bigger. so depending on how the images you've seen were created the clitoris in them may look more like an aroused clitoris.

Arousal may also be part of why you're only feeling a little bit of pleasure from stimulating your clitoris. Pleasure comes more from our brains than from our genitals, so if you're touching your clitoris but aren't mentally aroused it's not going to feel as good as it would were you super turned on (you can read more about why that is here: With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body ) . Too, while some people get a ton of pleasure from clitoral stimulation during sex, other people don't find it as enjoyable and still have happy, satisfying sex lives. So even if touching your clitoris doesn't give you much pleasure, there's no reason to assume that you won't experience orgasm or other types of sexual pleasure. Does that all make sense?

Since you mentioned it, can I ask why you're adamant that you'll never see a gynecologist?

[FantaOrange]

I'm just a really private person, and I'm not fond of being touched by most people, so the thought of going to a gynecologist has scared me for years. Just something I'm going to have to get over.

But thank you for answering!

[Jacob]

Hi FantaOrange!

Getting used to the idea of seeing a medical professional sounds like it can definitely be a good thing.

It might also be worth, if you do see one, letting them know what your fears are so that they can be more sensitive them.