Making the most of Therapy

[Atonement]

So, I've been in and out of therapy for the last 6 years, currently being in the "in" status.

One wall that I repeatedly seep to hit with therapy is I get to a point where I'm not really thinking about sessions in between, and then when I go to sessions it just ends up with me rehashing old news and complaining about some of the harder aspects of my family relationships.

I really want to take a more active role this time, see if I can keep it productive and make some improvements in my life.

So, for my questions:

1) What do you do to make what seems like an incredibly short 50 minutes as productive as possible? Do you go in with an outline.

2) I always see/read that you should put active work into therapy between sessions, but I have yet to see clear set examples of HOW to do that, aside from vague references to journaling.

3) What are some resources you like? Ideally, I would LOVE to find something the lines of a workbook or an app that gives me things to fill out rather than just free-journaling.

Any other helpful tips would be good as well.

Thanks!

[Alice O]

Hey Atonement,

As someone who also been in therapy on and off for many years, I really resonate with your question. First of all, props to you for being thoughtful and proactive about your therapy!

The main thing I would say is: these are GREAT things to bring up with your therapist! They should have some ideas of how to help you get the most out of each session, and how to continue the therapy work in between sessions. And that type of communication with a therapist can also help strengthen the relationship you two have.

That being said, I also find it helpful to do some reflecting on my own. Since you find yourself re-hashing things that don't feel particularly helpful, I would encourage you to do a little brainstorm of what it is you would like to get out of therapy. Some of this might be pretty broad, but ideally also try to think of some specific areas that you want to work on, whether that's working on a fear you have, or processing something that has happened to you, or exploring a new way to think about a subject that often gets you stuck. Having this list can help when you're arriving to a session and are not sure what you want to talk about--you can look at the list and see what you feel the most moved to talk about. Does that sound doable? Does it sound helpful?

In terms of workbooks, what a great idea! One thing you can do is google "workbook + specific thing you are struggling with." For example, there are a bunch of anxiety, panic, and/or phobia workbooks, depression workbooks, etc. There is no one suggestion that coming up for me, but I will ask the other staff!

[Sam W]

Hi Atonement, jumping in with a few resources to supplement Alice's great advice. These workbooks are ones we've recommended elsewhere that could be worth checking out to see if they match your needs (they're aimed at teens, but in my experience many of the tools in them are useful regardless of your age):
The Anxiety Survival Guide for Teens: CBT Skills to Overcome Fear, Worry, and Panic by Jennifer Shannon LMFT
The Anxiety Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help You Deal with Anxiety and Worry by Lisa M. Schab

I personally use an app called Pacifica, which has a variety of tools such as guided relaxation exercises and basic CBT exercises that it can walk you through. It could be worth a look to see if it matches with what you need. We also recommend the SAM app http://sam-app.org.uk/ .

As an aside about your second question, in many cases "doing work between sessions" refers to one of two things: either making an effort to use any tools that you've been working on with your therapist, or doing a specific exercise that your therapist assigned you. For example, someone with social anxiety may be assigned an exercise where they try talking to two new people in the next week. Or, the therapist may not assign that, but the client may set that goal for themselves as a way of practicing new skills. That may be part of why you're seeing such general advice on this practice, because the specifics of the "homework" are determined by what the individual is working on during therapy.

[Jacob]

Hi Attonement!

I literally just got back from therapy right now!

There are a few things that have helped me through the years... one has been asking for breathing exercises and activities for my therapist and I to practice in session and to apply at home or at work when I'm feeling stressed. Some of this depends on which kind of therapy you have.

I have done a lot of CBT and at times I have felt like I've had TOO much to do between sessions, which is the opposite problem.

As per apps and other resources, I use Daylio because I can record stuff there without even making a full entry, so it's usable even when I'm really despondent and depressed. It gives me a daily pop up asking me to rate my mood with smiley/sad faces and to tick what has happened that day. All of it is customisable so I have stuff like "Extra time in bed" or "Spoke to that one friend who stresses me out"... then when I have the energy, there is a text field where you can write more details. I love all the graphs but that might just be me being geeky.

It sounds like you might like something with a bit more structure though, so for apps I found Writelight and Paperblanks seem to be good journalling apps with prompts.

My favourite thing which I also just discovered is "I am here now" which is a physical journal with lots of visual and written prompts. I think I want one!