No thaving orgasm after D&C

[enriq373]

Hi There,
Last year on march 10th I took medicall pill for abortion (I was 6 weeks pregnant) in UK along with contraception injection.
Few weeks later I went for check up & came to know the tissues are still there & as a backup/advice from the BPAS nurse. Then in April I went to India for personal function & got a regular check up with a known gynacologist where I came to know that infection has increased terribly & I had to go through D&C after which my suffering pain was finally over as far as infection is concerned.
However since march or should I say april last year i.e. 2017 I am unable to get orgasm & although I want to having sex but dont get orgasm which before I use to get 4-5 times.
I consulted all the doctors counsellors, as per them everything is ok & there might be mental phenomena as I was very sad & depressed. However even after 1 year I am not getting it. I am having a good marriage & even after tough abortion me & my husband still share strong love based relation with eachother.
Really looking forward from some one in this forum who can advise me & share their similar ordeal .

[Sam W]

Hi enri373,

It sounds like this situation is frustrating you, although I'm glad to hear that you've checked in with healthcare providers to eliminate potential physical causes. You mention that at one point you were feeling very depressed, which can definitely influence things like sexual response and orgasm. Are you still feeling that way, or do you feel like your mental health has improved since then?

Too, in order for us to get a sense of the situation, are you also not experiencing orgasm during masturbation?

[enriq373]

Hi sam,
Thanks for quick reply..
AS it stands today I am absolutely fine physically and mentally even then I was fine in terms of doing my daily routine job.
I am not depressed as such.
I had always been healthy and very happy jovial person by gods grace. To add I married someone whom I loved and was in a relation.
However depression was the biological or so to say phenomenal oucome of abortion. That probably changed everything (chemically, biologically, mental, hormonal and physical)
To add on although Me and my husband didnt planned baby and were using condoms for sex. But as you know 1/100 case happened and when I got pregnant and came to know about it 6 weeks later I kind of got confused and wanted the baby which I didnt wanted in the first thought.
My husband who loved me and same was my feeling stood to old mutual plan not to have babies at that stage.
To add misery to my state, my abortion pill failed twice and it was further causing damage to m body.. it further reached the level where I needed D&C to cure..
On mastrubation part I did it in past while phone sex and stuff like that but for me body to body sex was the easiest to get sex.. which AFter 1 year I am unable to do.. not even the thought of masturbation excites me. I am Not able to get wet the way I use to get easily with the thought of sex.
Apologies if my response is too long but I wanted to exactly let you know my state..

[Sam W]

It sounds like the unexpected pregnancy and the choice to end it brought up a lot of difficult feelings for you, which is completely understandable. To quote from this article All About Abortion , "It’s very normal, after any pregnancy ends, whether it ends with childbirth or by terminating the pregnancy, for people to deal with some depression or tough feelings, which can vary in degree. Besides any emotional conflicts, pregnancy causes some pretty big hormonal changes in your body, and when a pregnancy ends, by it by birth or abortion, there’s another bunch of big hormonal changes, and that often causes mood changes, sometimes pretty big ones." In other words, many of the emotions you felt are the result of pregnancy occurring and ending, rather than abortion-specific. Too, having to deal with a prolonged medical process sounds like it was stressful for you. It's possible some of those tougher feelings may still be hanging around. Did you receive any support or aftercare to go along with the abortion?

[enriq373]

Hi There,
Thanks for your quick and explicit reply.
I totally agree with most of it.
My husband was there and my family was also there. I consider this only as support and aftercare. I was in touch with doctor also and my counsellor as well (which is part of my job as counsellor/psycologist)
Infact I remember my family and even my husband asked me if I need to spend time with my mother. But I choose to be with my husband as I found most of satisfaction and content with him. Although as you picked he was also my punching bag and partly unfair reason of anger for abortion.
I dont know how can I get my orgasm back. My husband has never been complaining about lack of sex but still I feel bad that we are not able to enjoy the way we use to before. Infact it was me who was super active.
I feel to get physical but dont get wet and orgasm eventually
Is there any way I can get orgasm back ?
Will I get back what I lost or will I have to live with it?

[Mo]

A tricky thing about orgasm is that sometimes, when we're really bummed out about not having one or trying really hard to make one happen, that's when it can be even harder to achieve orgasm altogether. This article goes into that in more detail: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

I don't know how you and your husband are approaching sex right now, but maybe you could focus on whatever level of physical intimacy feels best to you right now, and let that progress to other sexual activities if and when you feel a strong level of desire for them. Because the frustration about not reaching orgasm can make orgasm harder, maybe you can approach sex (or whatever level of physical intimacy you're feeling up for right now) with pleasure and intimacy, instead of orgasm, as the focus.