Confused

[Eeeee]

I’ve got a bit of a wierd situation and don’t know how to feel about it. I’m 18 and my girlfriend is 17. I was recently half asleep early in the morning, and she started touching my privates and taking my pants off. I wasn’t enjoying it, but didn’t stop her at first because I was tired + I didn’t want to be a buzzkill. But once she started taking my pants off, I pulled them back up and turned away onto my side. She then grabbed my hip and pulled me back over towards her, which was wierd cause she’s usually not aggressive, but I turned over again and she stopped after that.

This happened pretty recently, but we’ve been talking since then and she feels horrible about it. So horrible in fact, that it feels selfish to bring it up, because of how much hurts her. But I still feel pretty confused about how I should feel about the whole thing... I wasn’t fully awake, I didn’t feel fully in control, it was surreal because she’s someone I trust so much. what would you call that? am I overeacting? How should I think about this?

[Heather]

If she didn't know you weren't awake, then she something(s) without your consent. If she did, she did things without actually asking for them, and was likely assuming consent by your not verbally saying anything either. Honestly, both of those situations are problematic.

You get to feel however you feel, but it sounds clearly like your girlfriend knows what she did wasn't okay and that she messed up here. So, if you want to, this sounds like someone where you could talk this out and probably assure nothing like it ever happens again. Sounds like she sure doesn't want it to.

But again, you get to think and feel about this however you do, and that includes what choices you make with those thoughts and feelings. Do you want to talk more about this to try and sort some of that out?