Questioning

[purplelilac23]

So I am super confused with my sexual identity. I have only learned about different sexualities in the last two years( other than straight and gay). Most of my "crushes" have been guys, but it has mostly been because I felt like I had to like someone, and most of my fantises have been with guys. But for the longest time I thought that I could only be sexual with a guy.
Also I have this friend (who is a girl) who is touchy/ feelly with me. Like we will link arms, hold hands and rest our heads on each other shoulder. And I like it. I don't have a crush on her or want to date her but ive started to wonder what it would be to like a girl. I've always thought I was straight but now that doesn't feel right, although Im not sure what does. I think a girls are attractive but ive never known really that I could think of them other than friends.
Part of why I think Im questioning my sexuality now, is for a while now I have wanted some sort of sexual connection. But I don't have any disire for most/ any guys in my school. They are all to immature to me. But I have caught myself cheeking out girls. But liking a girl doesn't feel completely right either. How do you figure out what gender you like? How do you know when its right? Is it bad to be confused and not sure? When will I know? What do I do?

[Sam W]

Hi purplelilac,

There are lots of different ways that people go about figuring out their sexual orientation, and each person's journey is a little different. But often, it involves what you're already doing: noticing the cues you're getting from your brain and body about attraction and considering what those cues might mean in terms of your identity. How long that process takes, and whether or not the identity you feel most matched to stays consistent throughout our life, can be really variable. What I can promise you is that there is nothing bad about being confused or unsure of your identity. In fact, we have a whole series about people who went through (or are still experiencing) similar feelings: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexua ... rs_for_now

Have you had the chance to look at this article The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone ? In that piece, or in other places you've looked, has there been a particular identity that resonates with you? Or does questioning feel like the one you connect to the most?