Hiya. I'd like to ask for your opinion on something.

[KuroKat]

For starters, my ex girlfriend introduced me to porn/hentai a couple years ago. It was a whole new world for me.. she was very into it, even though I personally thought it was wrong. As time passed, I started to like it, and I even played along with fantasies that she enjoyed.

We aren't together anymore, but I can't shake off the desire to look up that stuff when I'm feeling in the mood. I feel ashamed of it deep down, and I'm not sure what I should do. Do you think it's wrong?

[Chloé]

Hi KuroKat, welcome to the message boards.

To be a little bit blunt, knowing my opinion, or anyone else's for that matter, about hentai and porn more generally, probably isn't going to help you. As long as the media you're consuming is ethically produced, then what really matters is your opinion.

I hear you saying that you feel ashamed about it. Can you tell me a bit more about where those feelings are coming from? Have people in your life, like your friends, parents, peers, etc, expressed negative views about pornography?

Are porn and hentai something you want to be able to feel good about using, or something you'd rather not use?

We have some articles on our main site about porn, the first of which is still shiny and new! How about you read either or both of these, and come back and we can discuss?

Making Sense of Sexual Media

Looking, Lusting and Learning: A Straightforward Look at Pornography

[KuroKat]

Thanks for the welcome, I read the article you were talking about.

Well..the reson I feel ashamed about it is because..my parents and sisters tend to be prudish. Whether it be a character in a game showing cleavage, or a celebrity on TV wearing an outfit that they don't approve of, it upsets them greatly. I agree with them, that media objectifying women isn't right and can lead to girls having unhealthy values about themselves. But then it makes me feel like a hypocrite if I look up pornography, even if it's just photos of women in swimsuits. It's hard to balance feminist views and sexual attraction as a growing teenager.

[Heather]

I wonder if something that might help you out here is to start by considering and talking about how you can do your best to be an ethical consumer of pornography, so that the way it's part of your life doesn't feel at odds, or not so at odds, with feminism?

For example, how about thinking about what you can do to assure that the porn you're looking at is porn made where, at the very least, the women working in it are women you are as assured as you can be are working in safe and fair labor conditions?