Masturbation & AGE

[sunnysidecera]

A couple years ago, some of my friends and I were together and started talking about the how and when was first time that each of them masturbated. A few of them accidentally discovered it, while most of them were either shown how or told how about it and then tried to do it by themselves later.

Thing is, all of my friends started doing it when they were 11, 12, 13, or so and can therefore remember there first time. Me, I can't. I can't remember a time in my life where I suddenly "discovered" masturbation. It's something that I always remember doing. I can remember back as far as 3 or 4 perhaps when I humped my hands at bed time or nap time while lying in bed with my blanket over top of me. I was also scared and ashamed of it, so if somebody were to walk into my room, I would quickly jump off of my hands, pretend to be asleep, and hope that my blanket prevented anyone from noticing what I was really doing. Of course I didn't know that what I was doing had a name or anything like that. As far as how I learned or discovered that humping my hands felt good, I have no idea!

So when I was asked when I started masturbating, I innocently said 3 or 4, I don't know, I was not taken seriously at all. It felt like that was way to young for anybody, and that if somebody actually did masturbate at that age, then something was wrong with them.

Fast forward a couple of years, and I started babysitting a 4 year old girl six months ago every second Saturday evening. The thing is, when I put on a dvd for her to watch before bed, she openly masturbates on the couch for some of that time. She stays fully clothed so I don't feel too embarrassed, I just pretend to not notice. But me seeing her doing that, made me realize that maybe it does happen where someone that little can masturbate.

So I was just wondering, at what age do most people discover that masturbating feels good. Is it strange that I can't remember my first time masturbating, and that I was potentially doing it before I even turned 3? And also, is it strange that the girl I babysit does it in front of me like that while quietly sitting on a couch watching tv? I mean, I masturbated too when I was her age, but I was scared and ashamed and wouldn't ever think of doing it in front of someone, but for some reason, she obviously doesn't feel those things.

[Heather]

It’s most common for masturbation to begin in infancy or toddlerhood. Some people remember that, others do not. Some people also started then, but then stopped, usually because an adult stopped them, and those folks often start again in early puberty.

It’s not strange at all that little girl does that. For kids, masturbation is about physical and emotional comfort, not the kind of sexual desire and expression it is for teens or adults. But I would ask her parents if they want you to (hopefully gently and without shaming) correct or otherwise address that, like by just telling her that’s something for private, not when others are around. That’s usually just something kids need to learn, much in the same way we help them learn not to take their clothes off in public. But it may be that for right now, her parents feel they don’t need to tell her that yet. Like I said, I’d just check with them.