A couple questions and advice!

[hiim.maria]

Hello everyone
Just recently I started having sex with my boyfriend of 2 years and some change. We don't have sex often because he is very busy with school and work but we do see each other often which is nice! We just never have alone time sadly. We broke up before actually making it to two years but we're here now so yay!

Anyways, on Wednesday, he came over and we had sex! He is an amazing guy and I'm actually his first everything (including girlfriend) so he isn't experienced and I'm not all that experienced either, only had one other guy before him. But anyways, we tried a new position (doggy) and we used a condom but I'm afraid something could've leaked out? When he took off the condom, there was stuff on the outside but I went to the bathroom and water tested it, and it was fine! So it was probably me? Lol. He said he also pulled out right after he ejaculated if that makes a difference?
I also just got done with my period a few days before that so what are really the chances of me being pregnant guys? I don't think it's likely but still, I would like some professional advice

Also, is it bad that we don't have sex frequently? He doesn't seem to be effected by it much because I perform oral more often than we have sex but I still feel shaky and that our relationship could end because of it (he hasn't said it will but its all just me)

I'm sorry if this post is stupid and what not, but it seems like a personal topic and I stumbled upon this forum googling stuff so I figured why not!!

I appreciate all the answers too, thank you so much in advice!

[Johanna]

Welcome to Scarleteen, hiim.maria!

From what you said, it sounds like what you found on the outside of the condom was your own fluids and lube. If you used the condom correctly and it did not slip off, there should be no way for ejaculate to get on the outside of it.

As for the frequency of sex - there is no universal standard for how much sex a couple should have in a relationship. It is up to the individuals in the relationship and what works best for them. So if how often you have sex works out great for both of you, then it's the perfect amount of sex for you two. Have you talked to your partner about your worries?

[hiim.maria]

I forgot to mention that I even water tested the conform after we were done and it was fine

But, I have mentioned it to him and he kinda just shrugs it off and agrees we would have sex more! He doesn't even think it's a bad thing that we don't have sex thag often but he's always busy and I can't blame him because he's always so busy and we never have that much alone time

[Eddie C]

Just a little note about testing condoms: it's not necessary to fill them with water to see if they worked. If and when a condom breaks it would absolutely visible, like when a balloon pops. Filling them with water could actually break them because they are not made to hold so much liquid.

As Johanna said before, if you both are comfortable with how much sex you are having, be that because you don't have much time alone or whatever other reasons, if it's working for both of you then that's just great.

[hiim.maria]

From the time I had sex that I posted about above, I haven't gotten my period. I also had sex a week ago but again I used a condom I'm not sure why my period is now 2 days late and I'm really concerned. Not sure if I should take a test?

[Johanna]

A period that is two days past the expected date is not really late yet - menstrual cycles can vary, and a difference of a few days either way is completely normal. How do you track your period?

If you have been using condoms for all direct genital contact, and you have not had a condom failure, there is also no reason for concern.

[hiim.maria]

I use this app called Period Diary! It's been pretty accurate so far even though I know periods can vary sometimes for no reason at all. And its happened in the past where I'm "late" a few days but I wasn't sexually active at all so i wouldn't worry. But now that I am it makes me worry. My boyfriend isn't as worried because he said it's only been 2 days

Also doesn't help that my mother is totally against birth control it would make things a lot easier for me but I have no idea how to tell her I want birth control.

[Sam W]

With various period apps, unless they're having you do things like take your temperature, they're not actually able to give you that accurate a prediction. You can read more about that here:
Get With the Flow: All About FAM

Do you want to talk about some ways to maybe approach the birth control conversation with your mom?

[hiim.maria]

Yes! See, I get really bad back pains whenever I have my period and it's gotten to the point where I have to take super strong pain relievers just so it can subside for a few hours. And I don't like doing that I heard BC can help with severe cramping.
My mom loves my boyfriend and she thinks he's a virgin because she doesn't know weve been having sex occasionally. Just yesterday I told her we weren't and I regret saying that because of the current situation I'm in with my period not being "on time." She's gonna think that I want BC just to have sex with my boyfriend and although many people may think that's a great idea, I just want it to regulate my period and to always be on the safe side and never worry. I would know that my period will arrive and no pregnancy is at hand with BC personally.
I feel awkward talking to my mom about sex in general and especially BC because I've mentioned it last month with my severe back cramps and instead she got me higher pain relievers

[Sam W]

Okay, so I would approach the conversation from the standpoint of "I would like birth control so that I can make my cycle more regular and hopefully lessen my symptoms." You can also research the method you want before you have the conversation, as that might help it seem like less of this big scary unknown to her.

I would also say that we can't ever guarantee our parents won't find out we're sexually active. So, it might ultimately be best to get that conversation out of the way on your terms, rather than potentially having it sprung on you (assuming you feel safe doing so). You know your mom better than we do, so you have a better sense of how she'll react.

[hiim.maria]

I definitely want to tell Her I'm having sex but since I told her yesterday I wasnt, if I tell her now and that im scared because my period has not arrived, she might get angry, I'm guessing
I would feel safe having the shots that are every 3 mlnths but I have to do a bit more research on that!

[Sam W]

You might not need to bring up the delayed period specifically when you talk to her. It might be simplest to just say that you are sexually active and that you wanted her to know (for whatever reasons you want her to know).

Research is always good We have our big birth control piece here, that helps you work through your options:
Birth Control Bingo!

If you're interested in the shot, that page is here:
Depo-Provera (The Shot)