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I think I'm in love with my bestfriend

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LesbianPanic
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Oct 22, 2017 6:08 pm
Age: 22
Awesomeness Quotient: I like my body at the moment
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/Her or They/Them
Sexual identity: I'm a lesbian
Location: TX

I think I'm in love with my bestfriend

Unread post by LesbianPanic »

heyyyyy... ok so this needs some context, first off I'm calling him my best friend because he had been my best friend all of middle school, at one point he had a huge crush on me but I changed schools and we hadn't seen each other since the end if 8th grade (we're sophomores now) so I don't know if he considers me his best friend, ok so I just changed schools again and he goes to this school as well all fine and dandy right until I start feeling weird around him... Like butterflies in the tummy wanted to be around him and being so SAD when I found out he has a girlfriend... Don't get me wrong I'm happy for him because he's had a tough life and he really likes her (she got his first kiss) but I'm so awkwardly jealous and I feel the need to insert myself back into his life as much as possible without hurting his relationship... my feelings are so strong I've literally been fantasizing about US as a relationship for the past 3 days so much I've been seeing him in my dreams. I'm really scared because I don't know how to just be friends when my feelings are so strong and it feels wrong to me to tell him how I feel when we just got close ish again and he has a girlfriend...
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: I think I'm in love with my bestfriend

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi LesbianPanic,

Oof, that sounds like a stressful bundle of feelings to be dealing with right now. It sounds like you're leaning towards just letting this crush run it's course, rather than telling him how you feel (which, given what you've described, sounds like a sensible call). Do I have that right? If so, would you like some help coming up with ways to do that?

Too, would you like to talk about those jealous feelings that are cropping up? For example, do they feel like romantic jealously or closer to jealously that this other person has a close relationship with him the way you once did?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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