Being Direct about Casual Sex
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Raymie
- not a newbie
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 1:23 pm
- Age: 36
- Awesomeness Quotient: Soft hearted Ocean child
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: Queery Queer
- Location: England
Being Direct about Casual Sex
Is it ok to ask someone you know if they're turned on over facebook messenger? This person flirted with me in real life, so I did that a few weeks later over fb messenger. Now I'm scared I harassed them.
~ Saffy
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Sam W
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: Being Direct about Casual Sex
Hi Raymie,
Whether or not something like that is okay depends a lot on how that person feels about you (both in general and in the moment) and the context of the conversation. For instance, if the conversation was getting increasingly sexual, then a question like that isn't a huge reach. But if you asked it in the middle of a non-sexual conversation, or sent that as your first message, then there could easily be overstepping what's appropriate. Too, how the other person reacted is also important. Did they react positively, or did they pull back from the conversation?
Whether or not something like that is okay depends a lot on how that person feels about you (both in general and in the moment) and the context of the conversation. For instance, if the conversation was getting increasingly sexual, then a question like that isn't a huge reach. But if you asked it in the middle of a non-sexual conversation, or sent that as your first message, then there could easily be overstepping what's appropriate. Too, how the other person reacted is also important. Did they react positively, or did they pull back from the conversation?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.