What makes love worth it?

[MusicNerd]

Well, let me first clarify that when I say "love" in this context, I mean romantic love.

Sometimes I have these existential musings (sorry, idk how to make that sound less pretentious lol) where I think back on my own experiences and those of others and think up different questions. In this case lately, it's been along these lines: What makes love and/or sex so worth it that people are willing to take emotional risks for it?

That may sound like a ridiculous question, I know. But idk, I guess I'm just curious to see why other people do (or don't) find love to be worth those risks. Any and all thoughts are appreciated!

[Kaizen]

Hmm. I don't think I really can separate out romantic love in terms of taking a risk.
The way I see it, any time I open up to someone or are vulnerable around them, it's an emotional risk. And of course this is "worth it", because the only other options would be completely isolating myself from people, or not revealing anything intimate or special to them. When you form that connection with someone (and again, not just a romantic connection), I think it's both risk and reward in one.

[Keda]

I don't think there's anything that deep to it... just that loving someone, and being loved, feels good. And, you know, that good feeling can be of different strength depending on you and your circumstances, and it can have a whole variety of knock-on effects - just like anything else, it can really, really enrich your life, or it can just be a pleasant part of your day. I guess whether or not it's worth it depends on how much you want love, how good it does or will make you feel, to what extent it makes your life better, and what the risks are of a particular romantic relationship.

I do also want to mention, though, that although yeah, you risk being hurt - even if that risk comes to fruition it doesn't balance out or wipe away the positives you got from the relationship. Hopefully, you made a really good friend. Hopefully, both you and your partner spent a lot of time being happy, and got closer to achieving life goals because of the support you got from each other. Maybe you met other people through each other who have also become good friends. Maybe you made a joint decision like to move to a new city, which has brought a lot of good stuff into your life. We have this cultural narrative in which if a relationship ends, it 'failed' or was a mistake, when actually, relationships don't have to last forever to be successful - they just have to make the lives of the people involved meaningfully better in some way. So, yes, you risk getting hurt when you enter a relationship, but it's not like you'll either have a great relationship or get hurt - you can end up with both quite easily.

[Heather]

Personal growth and just living life, if I'm making a long story short. But related to Keda and Kaizen's responses, I don't think that's just about romantic love: it's about any of the ways we might open ourselves up with people or be vulnerable with someone else.

When we connect with other people, that tends to be where a lot of our own growth as people happens, and also tends to be where a lot of the way we just live life -- in the rich ways -- happens. And taking positive risks, be it about loving other people or intimacy with others, whatever its form, or something else entirely, tends to be a pretty giant part of the adventure that is living life.

I'd also add that on the whole, risking some emotional hurt -- when we're not talking about people being abusive or mean, but people being kind and just having the kinds of changes, shifts or missteps we make as people together, being human -- often isn't that huge of a thing to risk in situations where again, we're not talking about risking abuse. Not everyone will always feel resilient enough in certain situations or times of life for that, but I'd say that more times than not, people are that resilient (and learning and growing that kind of resiliency, too, is also often a benefit, IMO).